Living in Southam, Warwickshire

Southam… probably one of the dullest towns around

Southam is full of little chavs who hang around in groups trying to intimidate people, but should be in bed by 7.

Living in Coventry, West Midlands

I’m amazed that Coventry doesn’t feature in the 10 worst places to live

The two most popular places in Coventry are the bus and train station, because they both take you away from the depressing vistas of this tired city.

Living in Ross-on-Wye, Herefordshire

Ross-on-Wye: The halitosis capital of Europe

Most towns and cities suffer with pollution caused by petrol fumes, factories etc. Not Ross on Wye. The green cloud hanging over this town is 100% organic.

Living in Moseley, Birmingham

Moseley, Birmingham has become a nouveau riche prick’s paradise

I've lived in Moseley for 7 years and in that time it has become a nouveau riche prick's paradise complete with BMW and Rolls Royce owners.

Living in Falcon Lodge, Sutton Coldfield

Falcon Lodge, Sutton Coldfield: If Aids & Ebola had a baby

Falcon Lodge, Sutton Coldfield: Even the homeless and rough sleepers avoid this utter ruinous heap of anus rubbish.