Living in Failsworth, Greater Manchester

Failsworth: a town of hard working individuals & lazy inbred pond life

KFC/Tesco Car parks have become a homing beacon for Failsworth's chavy offspring to congregate around when they are not at the Metro Stop.

Living in Sholver & Moorside, Oldham

Sholver, think of it as a giant category C prison built on a hill side

Sholver & Moorside: the views are good... to all the other parts of Greater Manchester where everyone would rather be.

Living in Middleton

Middleton: some say Rochdale, some say Oldham, no matter it’s still a hole

No matter where you go in Middleton, be it Langley or Boarshaw, you'll still be able to smell the pungent aroma of somebody's weed grow-op.

Living in Oldham, Greater Manchester

Oldham – Nightmare on Yorkshire Street

Want culture & sophistication? Look no further than Yorkshire St, where Sports Direct is the new Hugo Boss & TJ Hughes is the new Harrods.

Living in Shaw, Greater Manchester

Shaw, trapped between Oldham & Rochdale like a fart between bum cheeks

Shaw is unfriendly, poor, plagued by drugs, single mothers and work-shy white trash in knock off Paul & Shark sweaters and tracksuit bottoms