KFC/Tesco Car parks have become a homing beacon for Failsworth's chavy offspring to congregate around when they are not at the Metro Stop.
Sholver & Moorside: the views are good... to all the other parts of Greater Manchester where everyone would rather be.
No matter where you go in Middleton, be it Langley or Boarshaw, you'll still be able to smell the pungent aroma of somebody's weed grow-op.
Want culture & sophistication? Look no further than Yorkshire St, where Sports Direct is the new Hugo Boss & TJ Hughes is the new Harrods.
Shaw is unfriendly, poor, plagued by drugs, single mothers and work-shy white trash in knock off Paul & Shark sweaters and tracksuit bottoms