Living in Sutton-in-Ashfield

Sutton-in-Ashfield: avoid eye contact and you’ll be just fine

Mobility scooters and micro scooters seem to be the transport of choice in Sutton-in-Ashfield, depending on which side of 30 you are.

Living in Ollerton, Nottinghamshire

Ollerton: the most boring place to live

New Ollerton = old biddy central and a load of manky chavs. DO NOT come here, for your own sanity, don't even visit.

Living in Sneinton, Nottingham

Sneinton, Nottingham, do not come here for peace

It really is true that you don't know any place until you actually come to live in Sneinton.

Living in Bulwell, Nottinghamshire

Bulwell: If crippling depression could build a town.

Bulwell is the metropolitan equivalent of a distant gulag in Siberia - reserved only for the vilest and most capitalistic kulaks.

Living in Brinsley

Brinsley, a former mining community tinged with just a hint of racism

Things to do in Brinsley include going to the chippy, buying a lottery ticket and some fags or getting your viagra prescription refilled.