Living in Wootton, Bedford

Wootton – located on the darkest recess of Satan’s inner rectum

Wootton is a horror story within itself, If you believe in Ghouls and Witches this is the place.

Living in Bedford, Bedfordshire

Bedford – billed to be the Garden of Eden, but ended up like Stalinist Russia!

Bedford where the second coming was going to happen. The only coming was the Chav Invasion of the London Pygmies.

Living in Kempston, Bedford

Bedford and Kempston: Welcome to the Dawn of the Dumb-Ass

The Dumb-Ass people of Bedford and Kempston, unkind, selfish, homophobic, bigoted and xenophobic bunch of sh$$s.

Living in Southend-on-sea

Southend-on-Sea, the arse of Essex

Southend is surely the worst place to live in England. The town is full of 12 year old 'roadmen' (the chav does not exist down here now).

Living in Peterborough

Peterborough: we felt as welcome as a turd in a swimming pool

Peterborough has without doubt, some of the most aggressive, miserable, backwards, negative people I have ever come across.