Living in Hornsea
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in North East, Yorkshire

Hornsea is an up and coming town! The posh big sister of Withernsea at the south and Bridlington to the north. The town is filled with hairdressers well practiced in the art of the shampoo and set, in fact it currently keeps static hairdryer factories in operation. If a 1950s barnet is not your cup of tea there are tens of cafés for you to choose from filled to the rafters with shabby shite adornments. No need to go on a boat to get the feeling of sea sickness!

As well as the sea the greedy ***** also have a huge lake, however as they are posh sods it is called a mere. There is even a garden shed here filled with over priced tat they call a gift shop! If you were hoping to see the giant pike in the cafe you will be disappointed as it was sold to buy menacing signs prohibiting bringing food onto the land this includes bread to feed the ducks.

A visit to the chaviest chip shop is a must, it has been extended to a massive size via back handers to the council. It is impossible to miss as it is illuminated brighter than the Blackpool Tower just to cause even more of a nuscience to the local residents. Plans are currently in progress to make a chip shop garden and car park by forcibly taking over the front gardens of nearby houses.

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Before you visit be sure to visit the Hornsea Civic Society Facebook Page run by a know it all. Made up of ridiculous questions about the history of Hornsea that even they didn’t know the answer till they found it in a book any wrong guesses are met with finger pointing and laughing. Rumour has it the people in charge of the FB page have been kicked out of the club but refuse to hand over the FB Page password.

Anyway Welcome to Hornsea a posh town for Posh peoples!