Living in Castleford, West Yorkshire
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Uncategorised

Cas-vegas, as it’s known locally and ironically. Home to the iconic chav-wear factory aka Burberry… and so f**king bad even the chav’s and chav-wannabes are gagging to leave !

This place started dying in the 1980’s, after the Tories shut down the mines, and anyone not on the dole left.

Today, the town looks like a cross between a level from Fallout and Little Britain. (I blame the heavy metal pollution in the water). What we have here is weed smoking mutants in bad shell suits and baseball caps. Most of them would have to go several evolutionary levels to be called chav’s elsewhere. Nuking the place would actually improve it.

Chief past times here among the younger yobs seem to be spray-paint huffing, drunken violence and hanging around smoking and looking scummy… among the older, slightly less devolved chav’s it’s going out getting pissed at one of the grotty clubs [or all 3 of them] and shagging in shop doorways… often with members of the opposite sex, but dogs will do in a pinch judging by the results 9 months later.  Slightly better off chav’s usually invade Wakefield for these pastimes, descending on the place like a track-suited, bling-encrusted mongol horde every Saturday night.

Granny chav’s are well supplied with bingo halls and slot machine arcades, hence the stupid nick name.

One of the odder points is that there doesn’t seem to be many working aged chav’s here, those who do remain sit behind the Mcdonalds drive thru window, a stark reminder on why Asda sells Freederm.  The working aged chavs tend to leave their oiky little offspring with the Chav Grannies.

Castleford could be said to export chav’s to the rest of the country.. although infect would be a better word. Sorry about that…

Suffice to say, if someone wanted to give Yorkshire an enema, this is where they’d stick the tube.

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  • Peter

    ps, the Tories didn’t shut down the mines, they became unprofitable and the coal became to expensive to get out. Did the Tories close down all those mines that shut during the last Labour government?
    Miners are grafters but to be honest I didn’t know many that were prepared to commute more than a couple of miles when their local pit shut down, there were jobs at Selby when the mines in Cas closed, Selby is only 15 miles away but how many miners from Cas were prepared to move??

    • chris b

      How can it be cheaper to import coal from columbia, russia and even australia? Mrs t decided she wouldnt bow down to the last truly great union and in doing so decided to crush hard working men and destroy the communities where they called home.Youths in these places now have no real prospects for raising their own families as it is impossible nowadays to raise a family on a minimum wage 200 pound per week.Also immigration does play a massive part in the tory and it has to be said new labour agenda of keeping massive business conglomerates happy by supplying said businesses with enough cheap labour for them to keep rolling out the massive profits to line fat business mens pockets.I am affraid we have returned to the dickensian attitudes of the workhouse.I can assure you peter that if the only option left for your son/daughter was to work 60 hour weeks on minimum wage zero hour contracts you would alter your perspective dramatically.

  • Peter

    I left ‘Cas’ in 1986, best thing I ever did after living there almost 30 years. The people were ok on the whole (and I lived in Whitwood!!) but the place was a dump back then and has got worse. I have seen a lot of ex-mining towns and most are grim depressing places, Cas is up there with the worst. Everything they do to try and improves things somehow makes the place feel even more hopeless, if the local kids don’t trash it first (eg. the playgrounds that Channel 4 helped provide).
    When industry dies ou in a town people used to move away to find work, now they hang around on benefits with nothing to do.

  • Randy

    My underpants are stained.

  • thia guy who wroote is beyond chav not better to do

    Haha looking at that he probally one of those chavs his self Brian dead idiot

  • Tigerade

    Written by a true local, who can’t escape the turmoil and torture of being imprisoned in their sad little life, no escape, no way out. You really should have tried harder at school K, you could have earned your stars and been at Maccy D’s at Xscape now, if you’d only listened!

  • I don’t normally respond to such drivel but you caught me on a bad day you are pathetic towns like Castleford are trying their best to improve themselves and you post internet slime like this which has one purpose alone and that is to hurt people, businesses in Castleford are struggling to cope as it is without filth belching internet Trolls like you sticking your oar in.

  • unknown

    lmao at this its soo true