If you want to visit a town that has had a culture bypass this is it. I live on one of the many sprawling **** ******** council estates in close proximity to a ‘family’ of **** ********. The word family has been re-defined in this neck of the woods to absent father (or two) one fat **** mother (******) and two to three children of various colours. The children are about 8-10 years old, hobbies include throwing stones, playing football anywhere and everywhere (whether it’s there garden or not) swearing as loudly as they can, attacking wheelie bins and graffiti (Namely their own ******* house would you believe)
The mother has a rich and fulfilling life of wearing jogging bottoms, swearing at others on their own doorstep and watching Trisha if she can get out of bed in time. I say we non-***** should form a vigilante group and burn these ******* out of their council houses and administer a damn good puiblic horse whipping. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to visit the Grove Centre after 5pm to witness the biggest group of filthy shell suited burberry twats this cess pool of a town has to offer.

This town fell into **** hands around the summer of 2003 and as of yet the shroud of Burberry darkness is yet to lift from the few remaining groups of civilised youths.

Popular spots for the 1 carat gold wearing goons include outside local newsagents particularly the “Alldays” chain (2 are located in this town) this is wear they sit and grunt (I have no idea what they’re saying if u have any then let me know).
Also the Newlands Shopping centre at the bench’s by icelands.

An ill effect of the **** dominant population is that I have to journey many miles to enven come close to a CD that I may enjoy, sorry but Goldie Lookin Chain and Tupac ain’t my sort of thing. I wait for the day that the town of Witham, Essex is liberated from the narrow minded clones which walk the streets.

TOGETHER we can make this happen!

Up the Revolution, Let individuality prevail!
(more…)

I only had the pleasure of spending a few hours in this town but is displayed some of the qualities of a chavtown. We visited my girlfriend’s brother as he had just bought an ex-council house, the only thing first time buyers can be expected to afford in Essex without help from either the Lottery or Bill Gates. Low and behold he lives next door to a house of *****, whose kids had only gone and written, ‘**** off *******’ in 3 feet high letters on the side of their own house!! Beautiful. If brains were dynamite these people couldn’t blow their hat (cap) off. The thing that summed it up is that the parent (s) couldn’t give a flying **** what the little ***** had done.