The Black Death revisited.
This small town, consisting of Wigston itself and the *even* worse South Wigston, is quite simply one of the most ******, burberry, teenage pregnancy, stabbing, piss holes in the UK.
If you drive down one of the main roads, from the (slightly) nicer town of Oadby, quality of life drops from ‘acceptable’ to ‘AIDS-ridden crack ravaged ghetto’. ****, in other words.
The main road in Wigston has a plethora of delights.
It’s got a pub (The Bell or something) where two people were stabbed last week, a Greggs – **** Mecca, another scuzzy pub, several pound shops, and an ‘amusement’ arcade.
Oh, and a Maccy D’s. The small wall outside is always packed with Addidas and (fake) Nike little ****, that throw chips and **** at passers by.
Moving further down the main parade of shops, we get to a set of schools – Bushloe and Abington high schools -(Bushlo’ and Abbo’), and a crappy college, Guthlaxton (Guffo’), where you can do BTec’s in needlework or CSE’s in Maths for Retards.
This is where children first learn maths – what stolen cars are worth – and basic writing skills, like writing an ‘X’ where the dole form says ‘sign here’.
Badly scrawled graffiti is everywhere. I personally like the good stuff, the wall-long colourful murals done by people with artistic talent.
Sadly here it’s more like a Burberry ****** signing ‘Dez’, ‘Bez’, or a combination of the both describing which 13 year old Chantelle or Britney-Mercedes they impregnated over the weekend.
There’s also a handful of manky parks – rusted kids playground things, broken bottles, *** ends, a half-pipe covered in week-old Stella, like some kind of eastern-European ghetto.
Driving very fast at this point, trying to escape, with the ‘Glade’ car plug in thing roaring on ‘High’ to remove the smell of Wigston, you may pass the Nautical William pub.
If you ever find yourself with Burberry clothes, old corduroy, a scabby face and the IQ barely above a small mollusc – come here for a pint and a glassing.
There’s also a allegedly salmonella and E-coli ******** kebab van called Leon’s Kebabs – a dubious van-based establishment, presumably of eastern-European origin, too.
Ever wanted to know what 17th century Europe was like during the Black Death, the Great Plague?
Come to Wigston, and sample the smells, the broken glass, the syringes, and the disease.
It beats Butlin’s!
