I was actually rather shocked to find Wickford did not already have a decription. This is probably due to the fact all computers that were once owned by wickford inhabitants have now been stolen by the if ***** and ****** or even worse ***** *****.
Wickford, it’s hard to know where to start. Is it the under path at the end of Park drive where a group of around 10 yobs stand surrounded in there own piss and *** ends, or Nevedon park where you are garunteed to be attacked either verbally or physically by a **** trying to impress his/her possey.
The **** girls of wickford, who are basically basildon girl wannabe’s are the highest level of vulgar known to man. Once i even recall seeing two “*********” walking through the street in sum sort of pvc belt/skirt with matching bikini tops – in the middle of a thunder storm. This was when i first realised the genius’s i was surrounded by.
And then on to the **** boys, who are usually to be found at the train station trying to catch a train to the next stop with out paying. It doesn’t the cost of a ticket from wickford to rayleigh is around a pound, this is obviously too expensive for the poor in-bred, who has spent all his money he earnt from flogging his dads stolen **** for £3 at school, on cannabis and white lighting and occasionally a condom if his girl friend is “classy”.
If the **** is caught with out his ticket you can garantee he will emitt some form of bodily fluids in the form of urine or saliva, all over the train while it’s pulling out of the station. just so he feels like a “man”, even though he’s barely out of nappys and just learnt how to spell his own name.
I have had many experiences with Wickford ***** and can warn you they weren’t what i would describe as pleasant. Many times cars have stopped with around 10 ***** all squashed into the back seat as the driver shouts out “alright darling??”
This is obviously there only chance of finding a breeding partner for a quick shag behind woolworths.
I warn everyone stay away from this town, or risk your life
