Wellington, Telford: A depressive hole of wasters

Is Wellington a nice place to live or is Wellington rough?

Wellington is a market town near Telford, in Shropshire in the West Midlands. And my God, is it a sh*thole. The market itself is decades out of date, with outdated tat that old people bric-a-brac day in day out. The entire street is swamped with run-down bargain stores and shops that once were, which are now closed down with shutters over them.

This town is seriously stuck in the 80s, including the few Chinese takeaways and the train station. The locals here originate from Telford, which is sort of more of a cesspool than Wellington is. However, these people are the biggest wasters I’ve ever come across. Most of them are ratty gangster wannabes that hang out in their vicious little bicycle gangs, swigging vodka and posting snapchats of themselves vaping in their GK parka jackets in their ****** delusions of physical strength.

Telford is just as big as a **** paradise. The shopping centre is actually quite nice inside, and the place is actually quite modern and refurbished. It’s only on the outskirts like Donnington and Lawley, where the ***** spawn from. It’s also the centre for teen pregnancies, criminals and alleged perverts. It’s anybody’s guess about how many fights erupt around here.

The locals speak what I call “Telfordian”, where the most common phrase for “Hello” is “YA FOKIN WOT MATE?!!!” I would only recommend here if you want a hard time at the local schools and you have in interest in having your stuff nicked from vaping 15 year-olds on bicycles.