Uppermill – Saddleworth’s Dumping Ground

Is Uppermill a nice place to live or is Uppermill rough?

I remember Uppermill as a kid when it was picturesque, friendly and village like. Part of the Saddleworth villages, it truly has gone down the sh*tter. There has always been a few good pubs there and the ner-do-wells from Oldham would come up on a Saturday, eat their ice cream in the park and then **** off home to their backward lives. Not anymore though, Uppermill has decided to re-invent itself to become a drug dealers paradise.

From having one or two antique book shops you now have a high street full of gin bars, over priced eateries and coffee shops. Through the day pissed up yummy mummies sit with their Prosecco waiting to pick up Jonquil or Tarquin from the local primary, whilst hubby is in Manchester at their firm of barristers or solicitors boffing their secretaries in the locked boardroom. The yummy mummies know this of course, but Prosecco and a 100k salary ease the pain.

At night it is a different story, the drugs consumed is biblical, you can get everything from the host of dealers from Oldham and beyond in their ****** pimped up cars catering to the f**ktards who think it is trendy to do a line and drink Perroni at £5.50 a bottle then fight each other up and down the high street. These are the same idiots that think it is cool to set fire to the moors every weekend with an entourage of under age ***** in tow.

The latest instalment in this epoch is the council’s granting a late licence to an old Spar which is being converted to a music venue and club [this may or may not be true], they know who they are and you have upset a few characters around here. All well and good, but said venue is opposite a private sheltered block of apartments for the dodderies that have lived all their life here. 2am four nights a week trying to get taxis home 40 feet away from the oldies trying to get to sleep. What could go wrong?

Not sure if it is a bigger indictment on the council or the [alleged] idiots opening yet another drinking den in the village. Either way it is f**ked.