As I drove past the seaside village of Fairbourne all seemed normal, until i needed to take a sh*t and drove into the sorrowful abyss of hyper-misery that is the village itself. Inside the WC there are concrete dividers that all have glory holes that i was later informed that its simply what the locals […]
I’ve only been living in Gillingham for a month but I can affirmatively say this is the worst place I have seen in this country so far. Having lived in a depressing but peaceful Aberdeen, a wild but colourful Leeds and a picturesque but boring Warwick, I wasn’t expecting much from Medway. This whole area […]
Read More… from Gillingham – Lively Rubbish Bin of the South East
Anyone fancy a day out of the realms of inner city life? Fancy a nice family weekend away? Why not come to Whitstable? With pubs and small pointless shops scattered all over the fish smelling, narrow high street; this town is a treat! With young coke heads who think they’re John Wayne either [definitely not] […]
Read More… from Whitstable: get drunk, smell of fish and nearly get into 5 fights
Torquay is probably the only seaside town in England where ***** outnumber seagulls. However, it is easy to get confused between the two as both groups lay a trail of **** wherever they walk. The only difference is that ***** make their mark in the form of grease left on the floor of local fast […]
Is your son called “Alfie”? Is your daughter called “Molly”? Do you like to say their names very loudly in Waterstones at least 6 times in one sentence, e.g. “Alfie darling, you like this book don’t you Alfie, shall we buy it Alfie? You’d like that wouldn’t you Alfie? Molly come here darling, look at […]
Andover has to be THE most depressing town in the northern hemisphere. Twinned with basra it’s a literal melting pot of teenage mums/squaddies mattresses and blag pretend hard men. Half are wannabe squaddies who thinks the world owes them a living. They strut around the town centre with their pigeon chests puffed out and rab […]
Famed for it’s Horse racing, posh schools and culture festivals, it appears on the face of it, to be a great place to live with the town’s wealth attributed to these classy industries. For these reasons it attracts no end of pretentious tw@ts dressed for ‘escaping to the country’ who are utterly predictable from the […]
I grew up in Bourne back in the days when it had a population of a mere six thousand benighted souls. It was a violent place especially for an outsider. On my first day at school, aged four, I came out of the classroom and watched the other boys run across the playground egged on […]
Beyonce once sang “WHO RUNS THE WORLD?”. Ladies shouted back……”GIRLS!”. Middle aged people in Droylsden screamed “Kids! ******* f*cking little teenage kids” Droylsden has a dark little secret that nobody outside of Droylsden knows. That secret is anyone over the age of 25 is petrified of kids. Schoolkids, gangs of kids, kids in hoods, kids […]
It would have been a lot better if Sergei Skripal lived in Torquay rather than Salisbury because at least the government spends money on things other than benefits and combating knife crime in the latter. But even then, I’m not sure the Novichok would have been enough to deter all the bargain loving ***** who […]
I’ve lived in this little sh*thole of despair all my life. Traditionally a haven for the standard Manchester scally; Adidas tracksuit, crappy old banger, let’s not dwell on it. Lately the dreaded hipsters have moved from their habitat in the Northern Quarter to the working-class areas of Manchester. The f*ckwits [“lovely journalists” – Ed] over […]
Living in Farnborough is like living in purgatory; it’s neither here nor there. ‘The bargain bin of Hampshire’, I’ve overheard. The drab town adequately situates itself between having just enough shops to not **** oneself from boredom and too little homeware stores to purchase items to make killing oneself an actual reality. You’d think a […]
