Cannock is renowned as the **** capital of the UK, which isn’t far from the truth. This place has great spots where you can [allegedly] see them beating the **** out of the locals, the council workers as well as fellow *****. They infest the decrepit town centre. It isn’t too uncommon to hear one […]
Leamington Spa is a small, almost interesting, whitewashed town sitting in the middle of a country currently in the throes of an amazing self imposed identity crisis. Whilst all of Britain raves one way or the other about the enormous ramifications of the vote for the UK’s place in the EU, the county of Warwickshire […]
Read More… from Leamington Spa: Stale magnolia casting its vanilla doom all over the town
Blackpools a holdover from a different time. A time when every single one of us unlucky people were stuck on this awful island and flights to somewhere halfway decent was reserved to only the richest among us. Back then in these “days of yore” Blackpool was visited by all kinds of hard-working British families for […]
Read More… from Blackpool: The Seaside Town They Forgot To Close Down
Ferryhill grew during the coal mining years, around the turn of the 20th century. Situated south west of Durham, it is surrounded by other sh*tholes, such as Chilton, Spennymoor, Bishop Auckland, and Kirk Merrington. The housing reflects most of the people that live there; with most of the houses in this little patch of **** […]
Woking is a large town in the centre of Surrey. It is only known for having good train links to London. Other than that, Woking is a complete sh*thole. Woking is home to some of the worst addresses including Sheerwater, Maybury and Knaphill, all littered with *****- usually aged 8 or so, acting like some […]
Read More… from Woking: good train links to London apart from that it’s a sh*thole
After arriving in Chorley in 1980 my life became a depressed mountain of misery and boredom. The once thriving nightlife now reduced to a few stinking scabby pubs and some stupid so called micro bars that sell ridiculously overpriced cat piss. If your unlucky enough to find one of the festering dives that have live […]
Read More… from Chorley the **** crack of Satan’s drug dealer
So when you walk into Keighley, the first thing you’ll see is gum and spit everywhere. Your first step will already have gum on your shoes and in your hair (somehow). Don’t go to any of the shops, inside you’ll find that they are filled with teenage drug dealers. Also don’t go onto Cavendish street […]
Read More… from Keighley: a portrait of a town at its very worst
There is a village in England that has some pretty astounding features for a village, such as five or six non-chain places where to have a decent cup of coffee, a village hall where a certain film society shows some pretty decent films, like, ‘lo and behold, Werner Herzog and other illuminati. a Rudolf Steiner […]
Read More… from The sting in the wonder tale of Forest Row in Sussex
Haywards Hoth dates back to 1544 meaning a “heath by the enclosure with a hedge”. An unsearchable and unheard of ‘legend’ suggests that the town is named after a local highway man, Jack Hayward, who committed his crimes in the vicinity at some undefined period in the past. I suspect this is a colossal in-joke […]
Portland: People often say “it’s lovely, all the sea views, all the views of the coast it’s beautiful”. I would like to point out that those are views of something that is NOT Portland. Turn 180 degrees and look at the grey houses, the grey people with baffled expressions when faced with anything more modern […]
Read More… from The Isle of Portland: The jewel in Dorset’s butt cheeks
If for whatever reason you should visit this rotting corpse of a harbour town – presumably for the go kart tracks or the aquarium – you should know that any poor soul who strays into the feral residential areas is presumed dead until seen again. During your visit should be able to enjoy the cobbled […]
Read More… from Maryport: The Anti-Social Landfill of Europe
“You’re not local, are you?” I couldn’t make it up… I’ve just returned from my second and last visit to Keighley. I have never encountered such a depressing, unfriendly and dull place in my life. The more time I spent there, the more I felt I was trapped in some groundhog day loop of repeating […]
Read More… from Keighley: the most depressing and dull place I’ve ever encountered
