It has been said that the distant thud of a solitary Royton woman approaching could loosen one’s fillings from over five miles away. Raised on a diet of piping-hot Greggs steak bakes and deep-fried crunchy coated poultry, your typical Royton lass is a sight to be held. Morbidly obese, tattoo-covered, and with teeth like a […]
Legend has it the little village of Dyserth was built on Moel Hiraddug, not because of the quarry that is situated at the top of the tiny mountain, but because they could slope the pavements enough so that the limping from generations of genepool-shallowing would not show. This village runs the gauntlet for the most […]
Knott End & Preesall: where the spirits die of boredom. Believe it or not there are places upon this earth that could only come from the warped imagination of some evil genius James Bond villain type. A dark figure sat in a lounge chair, cackling with glee whilst stroking a cat, conjuring up their latest […]
So you wish to give up on life and can’t afford the one way trip to Switzerland? You wish to go for the slow option, terminal decline along the Helter-Skelter to absolute oblivion? But how do you carry out the ‘slow’ option, a lingering, gradual death? Well there is one place that captures death in […]
Read More… from Blackpool: Through the Brown Eye of the 5th horseman and out to Dante’s cesspit
If you are thinking of moving here to live by the sea in Devon while working in a job under £30’000 a year?? Then don’t! What you’ll get is either a victorian slum that’s overpriced, or a nice apartment in a block full of holiday homes. And believe me, Karen’s will constantly belittle you for […]
Ahh good old Crawley… where to start? Let me start with the sh*thole county mall: the type of mall that not only favours fake mobile phone shops and cheap crappy clothing. It also favours ***** that desire ruining your shopping day by calling you a **** or a f*ggot. This mall is so bad for […]
Read More… from Crappy Crawley – depressing hole of the south
Bulwell,on the whole is no worse than any other market town on the edge of a large city. All the local pubs that are left stink of toilets, sweaty feet and cheap paint. So do most of the die hard punters who live in them. Bulwell is not the place for a quiet relaxing pint […]
I grew up in “Chip-nerm”, before it exploded into its current sprawl of field-obliterating estates. It was actually quite a pleasant town, which ended at the Pheasant Pub to the west and at the cemetery/ Hardens Mead to the east. This was when Westinghouse was still going strong (I worked in the foundry), Westmead Junior […]
Read More… from Chippenham – a burgeoning dystopia of morons
Llangefni is just fine if you were born there and are hard core Welsh (or not Welsh but hard as nails) and like rain, cars, drugs and heavy drinking. If you think the blokes are scary, then watch out for the women. Oh Jesus Christ how do they ever get like that? Big prop forward […]
I visited Great Yarmouth several times recently and hope never to have to return. Where the bleak, brown, hostile sea stops, bleak, hostile depressing streets start, with grim “amusement” arcades on the dilapidated front where it is impossible to imagine deriving any joy or amusement. The star attraction The star attraction it seems is a […]
Read More… from Great Yarmouth – A museum of bleakness and decay
Over the past few years Llandudno Junction has had an influx of people who sadly cannot read or perform basic mental tasks. This had made the Town (with the amenities of a village) a front runner for the nations lowest IQ. This has worried many people not just in the UK but across the world. […]
If you are ever travelling along the M58 motorway in Lancashire, take the time to stop off at Skelmersdale. Your suspicions will immediately be aroused by the view that presents itself – the incongruity of sprawling grey concrete amidst lush greenery. Leaving the motorway slip road, one of the first things you will notice is […]
Read More… from Skelmersdale: like a ripped bin bag dumped on a pristine bowling green
