Burnley - iLiveHere: Best & Worst UK Towns Reviewed

A minor miracle has just happened in the UK. The government has published the new indices of multiple deprivation statistics… before the next election. Coming around less often than a leap year, these are the statistics that a lot of politicians dread. Last published in 2015, they are the definitive guide to how god-awful each […]

Crime Statistics for Burnley, Lancashire, 2024

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Colne: Welcome back to the medieval era!

Is Colne a nice place to live or is Colne rough?

First, we have to run through a checklist to see if you are eligible to fit in in bonny ‘olde Colne. Let’s begin shall we? Let me find my checklist and my pen… Ah, here we go! Do you believe every weekend should consist of getting drunk because there’s nothing else to do? Do you […]

Padiham: the skid mark of Lancashire

Is Padiham a nice place to live or is Padiham rough?

Padiham, the town that inspired the film makers, when making the hills have eyes. It’s a passing place (as I like to call it), because believe me, it’s not worth fekin stopping for anything unless you want impregnating. As you come off the motorway, you drive down a big long hill. Turning right at the […]

Blackpool, a bog-log bobbing adventure by the sea

Is Blackpool a nice place to live or is Blackpool rough?

I was enchanted as a child by the fairground wonderland of Blackers. The promenade, the pleasure beach, the trams and the illuminations. Now even the thought of visiting this 10th rate smack-****** ********, grotty, STD happy shi@hole, makes me rather have root canal work done! I think Blackers has a tolerance limit of 4 hours, […]