Stourbridge…staarbrige and even….taahn… stourbridge is fast becoming one of the main **** towns in the west mids, the ***** from the area flock to be seen in the local town center that is a place of amasing nights out for many a ****. ***** from wollaston, the kingsway and even as far as the little village of kinver bombard the busses at the begining of the night (6pm normal time) and make thier way to the town, some ***** stop of at "fletchers" with their tall looking mates to get them to purchase "booze" so the little chavlings can continue the "trek" to town and subsiquently either get caught by a random brave copper thtat happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, sending little chavlings flyin in all directions then onli to find them later paraletic on either greenwood park (greenies) or swanpool park (swannies), the main time to avoid stourbridge is weekend nights (mainly friday and saturday) because of the oure abundance of ***** that rally around the town center either to celebrate theyre monments of freedom of whichever school they go to or to go to the "roller" which is a mini ****’s idea of the picturehouse but without the trouble of having to get past bouncers and a place where they can smoke thier weed in peace.
I have **** with the ****’s for quite a time now and have begun to see their ways, however as yet i do not follow them but i have found that "being a ****" is horribly misleading, whilst walking through the wallheath carpark in the center of the village i was bombarded with shouts of "*****" and "*****" simply because i was wearing a burberry scarf.
So next time you wish to (or HAVE to) walk through any street in the west mids that is commonly filled with ***** take my advice:
DO NOT wear anything that may be seen as "grunger"
DO NOT wear anything remotley chavvish as this could be seen as a threat
DO move as quickly and swirtly as possible
DO keep away from any surlly looking *****
and….
as a **** would say…
BAIL!

I really cannot stand Stourbridge. It’s a dirty, dump of a place, with subways that have been urinated in so many times, and you get the daily beggar, come drunk, wanting money, and that’s just from walking down from the bus station. But inside the high street you can get a selection of fine shops, well that’s if you shop at Oxfam and Scope and all those places. In the high street you will meet the local wildlife, where you will find the finest teen mothers who have three kids ******* off of them, a cigarette in their mouth, with there boyfriend with shopping from kwik save, or pound freeze of one of those god-forsaken shops. You will also find teenagers who miss school to hang around, in their fake Burberry, and ‘bling’, with cigarettes in the mouth only to hear them say ‘*** on den ya fuckar wana start’. There are also some five star restaurants, make sure you visit McDonalds and one of the many take-away’s, not to mention the wonderful hygiene of the Mr Sizzle van. The only ‘****’ free zone in Stourbridge is the banks; since a lot of them have such bad credit the banks won’t even allow them to have bank accounts.

And yes, I am a resident of Stourbridge, (well Wollaston) and I hate the place, they should bulldoze it away, and just leave the rail station (since I need that to get to university and back)

Oh and please note, the use of proper English, not the ‘****’ English.

A blingin town in the West Mids Massiv, containin hotspots such as the Pictraaaass, Stourbridge Bus Station and The Chicago Rock Cafe (over 21’s only im afraid me chavvies)
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Oh the delights of STOURBRIDGE. The many piss-riddled subways and the singular swarming hive – McDonalds. It isn’t a big one, but our ***** are educated enough – yes, educated enough You heard me – to climb the stairs. That McDonalds is always full of the delightful beings themselves, hurling spitballs at one another and wasting space. Inside the delightful Crown Centre we see a large collection of the ***** around Spencers Market and “Pound Freeze”, sitting on the benches, depositing waste and then leaving with their ****** limp and grunting communication. I just wanted to pay hommage to my lovely home town and how ****** it really is.
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