I am extremely suprised that Stoke is not yet included on the list of chavtowns, as it has the complete tick list;
-council estates
-high rate of unemployment
-cheap fake stores
Its like white lightening -chavelicious!!
Okay, lets take a stroll over chewing gum filled streets of stoke and spot the *********.
To our right is the council estate of bentilee, which stands out with its saint georges flags in an effort of patriotism which inspires much asian “bashing.”
The delightful bentilee is full of young **** mums (aged only 12 themselves) and their offspring, who also have chavi names such as chantelle, brittnay, shannon and chardonnay (without the h is apparently “claaassy rate”)
Here the ***** are in their element: large amounts of drugs, off licenses and “boozers”, ***** from as young as 6 hang outside the pubs (whilst their parents spend all night in them) in intimidatng groups wearing their oh soo chavelicious burberry/kappa/tracksuits tucked into socks
and the older ***** attract the minging ********* into their (modded- i use the term loosely) gti’s.
Obviously the sight of cheaply dyed hair (roots of 9inches long showing) orange tans and “bling” (those lovely 9 carat plated ragdoll necklaces and soverign rings) attracts all those **** lads.
From here we travel deeper into the heart of the town, u can pick from many tunstall, burslem (bur-slum more like) and the local job centre.
Ofcourse, the ***** dont spend much time actually looking for jobs here, but they hang out here looking “cool” opposite the variety of woolworths (there is a woolworths EVERYWHERE!) corner shops and pound shops selling nothing more than mobile phone covers, fake louis vuitton bags and thongs without the elastic (only 5 for 50p!)
Another past time for the **** is television, ofcourse with nothing else important to do but collect giros and skip school, the **** devotes a large amount of time to this hobby. The usual day starts with Trisha which all ***** love (without seeing the obvious irony replicated in their lives.) After trisha is “this morning” which the **** finds too upmarket and so sleeps further into the day until more mind numbing shows appear on their stolen sets.
Try to venture further out in stoke and you will eventually reach a park- the contents of which have been set on fire and is littered with used condoms and needles. If you dare to come to the park at night time (or in fact even after the **** morning,) you will inevitably come across the young ***** who like to “cop off” in the bandstand adding only further to the large amount of teenage mums in stoke.
Yes, Stoke is THE very most CHAVELICIOUS town on earth and if you dont agree- come visit for yourself- but keep your car doors bolted and windows wound up!
