Scunthorpe…. The name says it all! When I first moved here in 1994 ***** existed, but they were mainly isolated in their chavpalaces in the westcliffe or riddings areas. These days they are littering our streets with their chavness.
Nowadays you cannot go into town on a half term/saturday/holiday without ***** and ********* being in your face and occupying the seats in all the “quality” eateries in the centre. The peaks of their caps at 45 degrees to the vertical blocking out the rest of the light for all the **** trainees that love to munch in their. Now apart from the obvious population of *****, Scunthorpe is actually a very ****** town by its own right. 3 Maccy D’s & 2 KFC’s; a multitude of £1 shops (The everything £7 shop closed down as it was too pricey) and Netto! There’s only 1 Burger King as it’s too high quality for *****!
Morrisons car park is often populated with ***** sitting in their put-puts with nothing better to do than slurpe on a brain hemorrhage beverage from Maccy D’s. And when they’re finished… where better to put your rubbish than neatly dropped out of your lowered car window!
Now the clubs!!! You can grab a granny at The Pepper Lounge or if you’re feeling lavish pop along to Time where it costs a fiver for an absolute ***** night out! Music’s ****, dance floor tiny and the women that frequent the place… I wouldn’t touch them with my pet gorilla’s meat! The pinnacle of nights out in Scunthorpe has to be Club 2000!!! If you want a fight, go there! If you want to see good looking birds watch the **** channels on sky!
Now there is a lesser known chavinn called Cre8.. £2 a pint/double/bottle/etc. after 10pm on a Friday and saturday and the place is swarming with ***** too tight to pay for Time or Club 2000.. The dance floor is often littered with ********* trying to shake their ***** to songs such as Basketcase. Don’t get me wrong Cre8’s great for music!! Just too many *****.
Perhaps it’s me but ***** cannot fathom when they’ve had enough to drink and cannot manage another pint. Speaking of drinking! Whats with ********* and straws in bottles?? Ladies(???), if you wanna drink out of a bottle then do. Don’t use a ******* straw to do it!
The steelworks polluted air is often broken by ***** playing their ber ber ber music out of £10 speakers in the back of their £50 Corsas.
Their are two things good for Scunthorpe:
- Scunny utd were beating Chelsea after 8 minutes.
- It takes about 5 minutes from the town centre to get out of the dump and go to a better place!
