retford is an old market town which over time has been ruined by the new age ****. the town it self is fairly clean and has character however the characters in it leave a lot to be desired. the ‘****’ has one by one ventured down from spital hill ( the roughist of the rough areas in retty). it consists of many scabby blocks of flats and is where the ***** retreat to breed, no doubt keepin it in the family. rather than attending school the ***** spend their days ******* around or as they say ‘chillin’ at the poor effort that is the skatepark with a cheap bottle of cider. or better still in the town center on a bench outside homebargins (the name says it all) another hotspot for the **** is on the market square, not that they can afford to buy anything as they have spent their entire bennefits on burberry, instead they sit in the urine soaked bus stop known as the mushroom and abuse anyone who has an education.
the town has few shops which anyone would actually want to shop in, even if you were brave enough to enter if you cant find what you want then leave as the **** behind the counter can barely string a sentance together let anone one worth listening to, before she takes another undeserved break in which she has ANOTHER *** n applys yet more make up with a shovel.
of course retty has an argos, which probably does more trade than anywhere eles, of course selling gold jewelery so that the ***** can be ‘blingin’ at all times.
the town has many pubs which gives a pretty good insight into how the ***** spend their past times.
the pubs themselfs arent too bad however cater for *****… in the toilets their are machines that sell vibrators along with, of all things ‘blow up sheep’! the local nightclub the poter house or as the ***** have renamed it ‘the dogga’ is a complete dive (i believe it was voted worst club in britain by FHM) its the size of a shoe box, you can touch the ceiling and will strugle to move. normally found in the dogga are two types of *****… 1) the ones who wants to fight anyone including there own shadow (prob due to all the drugs) and 2) the ones who will stop at nothing to try and get in your knickers (again prob due to the drugs)
all in all retford is an experience, much like your first trip to the dentist… its exciting but once you get there you have the burning desire to leave and to never return.
