I once saw Reading described as
“A town set in amongst the rolling green hills of the Thames Valley, with the River Thames nestling its way through nearby Caversham.”
Anyone from Reading knows this is complete rubbish.
If you wish to visit this town, I would suggest you read my view on my hometown. It may put you off, unless you enjoy Chavspotting.
Reading town centre has always been a grey concrete nightmare with buildings almost certainly nothing to do with aesthetics, but since the invasion of businesses such as Prudential, it has unbelievably got worse.
The town centre used to have just 3 pubs. The Horn, The Bulls Head, and the other one which tended to melt into insignificance. They were a bit rough, so you knew to avoid these.
During the early 1990s, the town centre was ‘redeveloped’ into a pedestrain zone. Bad move for starters as it attracts ***** in their thousands. It has more recently seen the opening of ‘The Oracle’, a megatonne peice of cr@p filled with yet more **** shops. Here you can purchase many a lime green off the shoulder ‘goin ahht’ outfit, along with the fushia pink stilettos and garish plastic jewellry. In the town centre there is, of course, Argos with a wonderful array of Elizabeth Duke tat, but if that doesn’t satisfy there is always ‘The Gold centre’. It is as delicious as it sounds with low quality hunks of fake gold pahnd coin rings and ‘uge ‘ooped earrins displayed behind the ‘bulletproof’ glass. Primark is but a stonethrow away, where the usual **** activities such as ‘buggy rage’ can be witnessed. Of course, you will find a few ***** hovering outside chugging on their superkings.
At the ‘riverside’ (its actually the dirty, smelly Kennet and Avon Canal) there is “**** Mecca” consisting of pubs, clubs, restaraunts and a cinema, to entice ***** of all breed and age. Where would we be without Brannigans, which isn’t so much ‘drinking, dancing, cavorting’ than ‘fighting, police van, court appearance.’
Nearby Friar Street is also awash with ‘**** Chain’ pubs. You know the pubs I mean. Yes, there is a Yates’. Yes there are various Wetherspoons for all generations, notably ‘The Hope Tap’ for the elderly “unwashed all day drinker” ****, and ‘The Monk’s Retreat’ a starting point for many a ****’s night out. The Reflex Bar is enjoyable as you can listen to the music from the nostalgic nightmare that was the 1980’s’ whilst being bombarded with 17 year old ***** in the ‘latest’ **** gear from Dorothy Perkins and Topshop, mailny consisting of 80’s retro cheap clothing.
So come to Reading for a great night out. Why watch ‘worst police videos’ at home when you can catch the action live!! The police love nothing more than trying to control 500 **** fights over the course of one night, so there’s plenty of action guaranteed. Its the ultimate pint and a fight night out innit!
(A visit to the local A&E dept on a Saturday night is also recommended for chavspotters.)
