Oh Mon Dieu. I’ve lived here for nine years now and becoming more and more common than dog-**** on the Paris streets is the French ****. Or ‘jeunes de la cité’ (Kids of the council estates). They are alarmingly similar to their British counterpart. ‘Designer’ track suits tucked into white socks covered by blinding white trainers. Bloody baseball caps. Whispy moustaches. Cheap cigarettes. Bad breath. Children to teenage mothers called ‘Kevin’ or ‘Cindy’ (I kid you not). And loads of bling.
Those ridiculous handshakes that involve only the fingers to begin with, then a nuckle punch, and then a slap of the open hand over the heart. Pathetic, and useless. The more extreme **** might sport a bandana under his cap. Too cool, man. Like flies around said dogshit they congregrate around ‘MacDo’s’ or KFC, where it appears necessary to spit constantly, smoke, make irritating rap gestures, ask passersby for money and lear at blond women ( a high percentage of them are African or Arabs). Paris ****.
Where the simpletons hang out.
Chatalet, in the centre of town. Absolute pondlife. **** centrale. Bling shops, ***** cinemas, ‘rap’ gear, little young ***** looking to produce a ‘braaaahn’ baby, McDonald’s, Pizza Huts, KFCs. Thrown into this, **** hip-hop record shops blaring out the usual rubbish, tourists, ***-fiends, drud addicts and you’ve got a bit of Paris that will give you memories you’ll take to the grave. Truly wretched and horrible. Thieving is par for the course.
The Bastille.
Another **** stronghold. Once cradle of the Revolution. Now a cess-pit of **** slime. Disappointing during the day, it’s seriously dangerous at night. Roaming packs of kebab- wielding **** **** looking for fights or tourists to rob. Predictable fights in the Taxi queues. Loads of bling and tracksuits almost blind you so you don’t notice your walet is being nicked.
The breeding ground.
St Denis in northern Paris around the new Stade de France.
It’s like the **** equivelent of the Alien nest in Aliens that Ripley destroys by torching it (hey, that gives me an idea…).
Three places in the City of Light to avoid, folks.
It’s speading so fast it’s terrifying. God in heaven, save us all from *****.
