Padfield: Gentrified urbanites and curtain twitchers

People with all their own teeth and the correct amount of digits would feel out of sorts and ill at ease living or visiting Padfield. Full of stone terraces and farms, interbreeding within the community has been a strong pastime over the years, but change is afoot. The sprawl of people from Manchester that can work from home and want to look at greenery at the same time is changing the social dynamic of this backwater idyll.

A strange mix of old timers and the new influx of wealthy types now mix uneasily and rub shoulders in the only pub in the village. Motocross and quad bikes creating noise pollution and havoc in the fields, lanes and on the main roads, squealing house parties until all hours with thumping bass lines whilst the imported ********* get twatted on cheap wine from Lidl,but try and look sophisticated at the same time. The hot tub hire man makes a fortune in the area as the idea of relaxing in each others bubbling feculence has now become the weekend norm.

What once was like last of the summer wine has now become more like an episode off Shameless but with nice scenery. Whilst house prices soar rapidly with the wave of inner city wealth make sure that if you wish to live in Padfield,the minimum requirements are that you are an annoying b##tard with self-entitled children and the ability to massively peacock on social media, is a must.