Newbury

This weekend I went to the cultural mecca of the U.K. that is Newbury, West Berks. What a place, has a Tesco Extra (one’s that sell clothes! wow!) and a department store called Camp Hopson that puts Harvey Nichols to shame! Also, the locals are a unique bunch, youths consist of either shaggy haired unwashed skaters, tracksuit clad scallies known as ‘*****’ that hang around outside Domino’s pizza, and dangerously young girls dressed as tramps who like Blink 182 or some such *****, hate their parents, and give bj’s freely. This group, i’m informed, are called scungers.
This is a unique place with many attractions. Where else can you sample a pint of fine ale in a picturesque pub by the side of the Kennet Canal, but also purchase some stolen Elizabeth Duke sovereigns from an unwashed mockney named Daz, all in the same venue? Nowhere but good old Newbury.
Thoroughly enjoyed my stay in the skag capital of the south, an ideal place for people watching and noticing the sharp contrast between middle England and Little Britain. Beautiful.
Newbury- home of the rebel without a cause.

Newbury, in the Royal County of Berkshire, yep even royalty have their own ****’s! Britain’s best kept **** secret. This once quite rural town is now a magnet for Chavdom, there are more Citroen Saxo’s with huge exhausts and blacked out windows per capita than any other town in Britain. It came in at the number 3 position for the town in Britain with the most binge drinkers. ****’s favourite label of choice here seems to be Ben Sherman shirts with the obligatory bling and baseball cap. The favourite hang-outs are Parkway there own strip of tarmac, where they can burn rubber for ooo about 500 yds whilst blasting out so much bass you can see windows shatter! And McDonalds at the retail park where they can show of more driving prowess by doing donuts in the nearby cark park. **** girls here all seem to be about 14 and have at least 3 children all with the same tracksuits. If your lucky you might even find a **** with a job, rare but I did spot one classy lady sporting hooped earrings with orange glow skin behind the counter in the tanning salon and even rarer she was actually quite attractive … yes I did have to seek some professional help after this incident.

If you do venture here check out nearby Thatcham favourite haunt of the dole ********* and favourite drop off point for the joy riders to burn there recently stolen saxo’s! Livin it large, innit!