Nelson, a place for every ****. What a great place! All types of **** are present here, they seem to like the place. On my daily drive to work the “working” or “tarmacing” ***** are already going about their daily business. The non tarmacers are mooching around the post office, kwik save, farm foods, lidl, costcutters, woolworths and wilkinson all searching out “reet good stuff well cheep!!”
***** are a thirsty breed, so, plastic bags in hand it’s off for a coffee at The Station pub (they open early to get the ***** in before the bar opens). At 11.30 sharp the bar is open and the ****’s and ********’s are bustling to get their orders in. Once served they have their “loyalty cards” stamped and mooch off to sit on the sticky ash covered seats of the “family area”.
Across town the fellow ***** are getting stuck in to yet more booze at the Lord Nelson. After a few drinks many of the younger ***** tuck their tracky bottoms into their socks and head out, best rockport forward to ruin some senior citizen’s afternoon.

Cometh the hour cometh the ****! With nightfall approaching the Nova’s and suchlike are revving the engines and pulling out from the Stone Clad Labrynth of houses, pausing momentarily to switch on the purple lights under the car. ACE!!!
A new one up here is two tone paint, it looks so good over the rust bubbles on the wheel arches!

With the blond haired, big gold ear ringed ******** slumped in the wound back passenger seat, the chavmobile trudles off to congregate in near by Colne. (Matalan car park) ther ***** meet up and **** about for an hour or three going from 0 to 30 and back to 0 several times on North Valley Road. I really do detest the *****. Tracksuits, burberry caps, rockports, reebok classics, Nova’s, illiteracy, all traits of the ****!

Praise be I only have to work near them!!!!