Mossley, home of the ‘Who’s got the most toes competition’

Is Mossley a nice place to live or is Mossley rough?

Whether you’re from top or bottom Mossley, there was always an issue of who is the most superior life form.

With ***** who don’t have the complications of the inner city chavery to cloud their empty minds, their justification for territory extends to ********** characteristics such as who’s dad has six toes or who’s Uncle gave you your webbed feet?

The highlight in this padding pool of DNA is the annual ‘Who has the most toes competition’. Where the locals gather in their sandles. Non-open toed or those wearing socks in order to cheat will be disqualified and forced into exile in neighbouring Mordor (Ashton).

The plucky contestants present their weirdest entries to a strangely captive audience. Judged by last years winner who lost his winning toe in a veg peeling accident, competition is amusingly fierce. The local newspaper reporter is in place taking photos, who is wearing flippers for the occasion.

The prize in the most ‘genetically enhanced’ category winner as they choose to call it, is a 2 wks self catering holiday in Hadfield…a kind of home from home…from which you may never leave again. ?

Darwin clearly left Mossley out when he wrote origin of species.