Welcome to Middleton, core of the **** universe within North Manchester. Here we have a special breed of **** and ********. This particular breed of gutter dwelling, fake burberry wearing council estate **** are ever so proud of their social status. Drawing in local ***** from surrounding Hollins, Boarshaw and not forgetting the lovely Langley this truly is the epicentre of hoop earings and henri lloyd attire. The difference with this place is the **** age range is from around 3 years old up to and including mid to late 50’s. Oh yes, the biggest ***** here are the 18-30 age range.
Identifying Features:
Male ****:
Wearing “Eclipse”, “Spliffy” or “Joe Boggs” clothing – they cant afford the Henri Lloyd and Ellese sported by the equally rancid **** inhabitants of Salford – who at least are successful in their criminal activities and spend their money coined from old grannys and schoolkids on the latest Stripey Paul and Shark jumper.
Trainers – Usually ridiculous £150 Nike air suspension super air pump max ****. Favoured by those who need to jump from second floor windows or scramble over fences im sure.
Gold Chains – Argos’s finest – the fatter the better –
Can usually be heard saying:
“What yoo fookin lookin at di*khead!?”
Female ****:
Hoop earings – the larger the circumference the higher up in the female **** pecking order she is .
Low rider jeans, with dirty yellowing white g string.
Overly small t-shirt with rancid white pot belly spilling over afore mentioned jeans, replete with £2.99 belly button jewellery stolen from Miss Attitude.
Can usually be heard saying:
(to child) Tyrone/Latisha ya silly little basta*d, gimme me fookin giro back!
If ever there was an advertisement for the positive use of napalm wthin the community this place is it.
