Here I am in a place I fear i will never escape. A place equal to and greater than the famed Royston Vasey. On paper Market Drayton should be a nice quiet town to live… WRONG. How did I get it so god damn wrong? I have entered the ‘SH*T-LOOP’.
The Yokels
What makes Market Drayton such a backward and regressive place is the Cro-magnon/Troglodyte Locals which comprises entirely of Three sub-genus sections:
- The Druggies – They eat Lidl cat food as to acquire more Smack
- The Drunkard Yokels – They View a good night out as not having p*ssed the bed
- The Up-Tighties – Robotic sheep like entities who think they are posh (definitely Not) and scared of their own shadows
Dumbfounded
What really links the three groups is the way they stare. They look puzzled and dumbfounded even scared when they see a new face, akin to the ape’s puzzlement at the monolith in Kubricks 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I suspect a wide range of the demographic have never ventured beyond the parish boundaries and they collectively view a visit to the supermarket as a day out for the family. Nobody of historical note or of notable fame, sporting or otherwise, have origins of this godforsaken purgatory.
Government Experiment
I sincerely believe that Market Drayton is the effect of a governmental experiment to see how they could implement a weapon that could reduce the intelligence quotient of an entire populous. The dumbf**kery is alarming. The town is living in an idiocracy and I fear for tomorrow/next week and my long term sanity. Will I ever escape the ‘Sh*t-Loop’of Market Drayton? I don’t like to think about it for fear of madness.
Conclusion
Avoid this abnormal Town at all costs… or you’ll never Leave.
