You name it, Loughborough probably has it. *****, don´t ya just hate them. And they have ******** our town like a filthy plague that nobody can do anything about.

These disgraceful ******* have ruined everything that was once good about the place.

Old people can no longer stride with confidence through their retirement area, as council houses have been erected for the **** to move in right across the road. By god, even the church isn´t safe as the young trainee ***** lurk in the gateway swilling turbo white cider and smoking richmond superkings, whilst gobbing on the floor. is nothing sacred to these ******* if it is isn´t made of tartan by a bloke called thomas.

Then there is the choice of 2 Mcdonalds, the older one in the town centre a fave hangout spot for the pre-pubescent ***** who try, laughably, to intimidate the shoppers. One day i walked past with my missus and there was one filthy little ****** trying to kick the bin over whilst laughing at the luckless employee sent out to stop him, so i barged past him and slammed him into the window. He quickly left. Ha Ha ******.
The other mcdonalds is located in shelthorpe, the toilet of our town where drugs are rife and you have to have a skinhead and at least 15 tatoo´s to be able to live there.

They have even attempted to ruin our local cruise. The cruise started as a very well organised affair whereby folk would drive into the local shopping complex car park, park up and admire each others cars. Until one day, when the unmistakeable rumble of a peco exhaust was heard in the distance and a nova 1.2 merit loomed on the horizon. Full of ***** and *********, the *** looned around the carpark for 10 minutes trying to look “well hard innit” in front of his missus, krusty the clown, and his mate, sideshow ***, until he realised that everyone else was looking at him like the ****** he is. so he left. then came back with 40 more mates driving vauxhalls finest. And then all the little ***** off the rough estate started to congregate in the car park untill the place looked less like a cruise and more like a burberry fasion show, as they wandered around deciding which car they would attempt to steal when the owner had gone to bed. Because of this, the police have now started blocking all the car parks in town to stop the cruise happening. So thanks to Gary, Dwayne and Chantelle for ruining that for us.

I could ramble on forever but i aint going to cuz im currently enjoying a **** free week in Ibiza, but rest assured when i am home i will dust down my harpoon and start picking of these dregs of society with glee.

bye

The Chavi (8-14yrs) as with every other town hang around outside Londis, Spar, One stop asking for people to buy **** and or 20/20

The ***** during working hours will generally be found in 4/5 lad groups near the cinema smoking drum roll ups and glaring at anyone not wearing fake burberry or without tracksuit bottoms tucked into their socks

However once it gets to 8 or 9ish they transform into shirt wearing townies YSL or **** are the only labels required still wearing caps but with huge amounts of gel on their hair plastered to their skull
GOWLD chains around neck and wrists and plenty of chunky argos rings

Unicorn Pub on Thurs night
Pulse Nightclub on a Fri night
Discotecca on a Sat night

Loughborough – A **** Utopia

**** Estates PLC

Are you looking for somewhere to bring up your **** children? Loughborough may be the place for you. We have a wide variety of council estates where you will be able to sponge off the state and enjoy living in the squalor you have become accustomed to. Shelthorpe is the estate most favoured by our customers due to its near 100% council estate saturation. It offers a McDonalds for those 6 nights a week you can’t be arsed to cook and a bargain booze for the 7 nights (and days) you spend drinking. There are extremely few jobs going locally so the DSS won’t be bothering you too much. Shelthorpe also has a ****-to-nova ratio of 1:2 and this is exemplified during the nightly battle between them and the police (or razzers). Nightly entertainment is only a curtain-twitch away as a flash of Burberry confirms one thing – A **** breaking their anti-social behaviour order.

Perhaps the most attractive selling point of Shelthorpe is the fact you are in such close proximity to drugs dealers. Should you ever fall short of “an eighth” you can almost guarantee that one of your neighbours, or maybe even both, are dealers. Our customers also saw this as a rich opportunity for recruitment by becoming a coke mule or committing armed robbery.

All-sports, Game, Littlewoods, Primark, Argos, Index and Cash Converters. I won’t elaborate on this point.

Our clients also commented on Loughborough town centre as a great place to go out and be guaranteed like-minded people to fight with. With bars like barracuda offering £1 a drink on **** night (ok they don’t call it that but its pretty much taken as read) you are certain to be in a place with enough people that at least one will be “looking at you funny”. Oh and don’t worry about being arrested, the police are too busy arresting ***** in novas.

Loughborough for me has to be one of the ********* towns around!

This town in North Leicestershire is also a University town but dont let that fool you. Whenever I have the misfortune of visiting this dump it seems that the academic crowd (all the lecturers live in quiet villages in the Charnwood Forest) are very much in the minority and chavvism definetely dominates despite the appearance of the odd trendy cafe/bar.

On the afformentioned occasions I have always seen a proper **** within 2 minutes of leaving my car (which I make doubly sure is locked!). You could bet your life savings on seeing bling and Burberry caps or kappa tracksuits at least every 5 minutes.

It has the East Midlands 2nd ********* branch of Macdonalds with at least 50% of the mums with kids (no doubt called Shannon or Dale!) have 20cm gold hoops at least 0.5cm wide.

When I do visit it is usually because of the annual street fair which sees the ***** come out in their finery which basically means brand new tracksuits and trainers for the boys and the same plus at least 20 items of gold bling for the girls. Last time I saw a classic granny Kelly (50 something ********) with died blonde hair and heaps of make up plus an unbelievable amount of bling. Had to be seen to be believed.

I also notice that their is dog **** on the pavements at least every 50 yards!