Llangollen is a wonderful town with stunning scenery and history, beautiful sights and some lovely people but it is badly let down by the growing **** culture. Some of the 15-40 year old **** yokels need shooting! Of course some of the 15-40 year olds are nice, genuine people, but these are hard to spot amongst the vast gathering of ****. The true **** is also a quandary as they give the impression initially that they are nice people, it’s not as easy to differentiate as it is in the cities. Be on your guard until you know for sure.
Favorite hang outs are the infamous D-bar, where there are at least 6 fights every weekend (and a sticky floor with a definite vomit aroma), outside the Spar shop or Town Hall, and The Bull Inn, Llan’s **** central. You could shoot coke into your eyeballs & go crazy with a machete in the Bull & you’d still be allowed back the next day, & able to join the pool tournament & carry out some Red Stripe at the end of the night. When the D-bar is closed the Sun or the Star are favored hang outs, then it’s always back to someone’s pad for getting stoned & watching cartoons. The **** girls fight daily over who nicked their Karaoke song or who looked at their **** boyfriends, who they never seem to be able to keep for longer than a couple of weeks. The **** boys fight over gay rumors, lager, drugs, and **** ex girlfriends. The ***** of Llan are slightly different to those in the rest of the country – they think they are hard but fist fighting outside the kebab house every Friday at midnight is their limit. Then there is the obligatory jumping on & squashing of the traffic island bollard outside the old Grapes, always hilarious. Llangollen is also a major drugs capital of North Wales. It’s permanently snowing. But you can see why they’re always smoking / snorting / popping something though – with a life that dull anyone would be driven to daily drugs. The police can’t handle the ***** at all and regularly let people just go on their merry way, whatever they may have done. They don’t have pimped up cars, designer clothes or flash gadgets but they spend their money on Red Stripe, Vodka Milkshake, puff & Charlie. Their favorite pastime is the rumor mill. They’ll say they hate it but with the same breath tell you how they heard that the bloke they just use for his Playstation, was caught being bummed by ‘the only gay in this villaaaage’ in the wine bar or how their ex girlfriend’s Dad is psycho & so-&-so’s pregnant. There’s a group of girls we’ll call the ***** brigade. They are all best friends one day, not speaking the next, best friends again the next. They have faces like slapped arses & arses like small countries. They are incredibly insecure & instantly hate any other female, they know that the blokes, who they treat like **** but are desperate to hold on to, can do much better than the sour faced psychotic ******** they are, so solve the problem by being even bigger ******* than usual, quite an amazing feat actually! You’d think that the majority of the ***** would live on Pengwern Estate, although there are a few classic examples there (one they call ‘The Mouth’ springs to mind – druggie, alchie, foul-mouthed, psychologically screwed up & so on & so forth) the main players live around the town, although it’s hard to keep track as they tend to argue so much with each other that they move around often. I would highly recommend visiting Llangollen for the Eisteddfod, the balloon festival, the scenery, the walks, the steam rail, the river, the canal, the Horseshoe pass, Dinas Bran etc, but when it comes to evening entertainment beyond a meal, forget it! It will ruin your wonderful memories of an otherwise beautiful place. Maybe a quick drink in the Wynnstay, but leave before the **** crowd gathers to get into, or go to the kebab house after, the D-bar.
