well….where to start after living in this cess-pit for 19 years and attending one of its One of its many ******** schools and still at its equally ******** college. I can say that leamington is indeed a total **** town, surrounded by Coventry, Rugby and Birmingham but also more locally many council estates, some places of note in leamington are…..
1. Old town…anywhere past the post office is a total **** hole.
2. Lillington… strange does have some pleasant suburbs but also is the most wrenched hive of **** and villainy in leam.
3. Kenedy Square…now…this is THE place to go if you want to get “knocked out” buy an amazing selection of ***** and ***** ranging from 12 to 20+ (all breeding of course.) 100% ****-y scumness
4. Warwick Gates…a rather new housing development. Full of nice young families, Indians and rich *****! The kind that have REAL bling and all that….really strange place.
5. and last but not least….North Leamington Community School and Arts College. This is the secondary school I unfortunately attended, its like a **** training camp. Pure ***** in a 1950s building, with a ******** fancy name.
99.9% of all pubs and clubs in Leam are **** orientated and play a mix of chart dance, r n b and rap. Around 11pm Saturday night is one of the worst times to be out and about. Don’t let all the historical ****, old people and large police present lure you into thinking Leamington is alright, as all of those are signs of a **** invasion

Leamington spa. What can i say……….
Full of **** ****!!!! if they aren’t driving up and down the parade all day long in there vast array of boy racer cars, then their on foot, modelling their latest (stolen) or (benefit funded) collection of **** clothing. ***** in leamington never travel alone always in groups. the norm is 2 male ***** with the 3rd member being the **** ****, **** and midrift on show blinging with her argos or H-samuel jewellery!!!!!
**** hot spots in leamington spa are –

Mc’cools newsagents in sydenham
walking up and down brunswick street
The parade and Priors shopping centre has a large collection of *****, especially on a saturday!!
******* around the band stand by the royal pump rooms!!! drinking smoking, you got to love them……. Not. HATE THEM< HATE ALL THE **** ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Will keep everyone updated with local **** news in leamington.

I can’t believe I’m the first to nominate Leamington Spa as a Chavtown. Outsiders may think the place is a genteel and affluent place in which to live, especially when given its full title, Royal Leamington Spa. But if you do more than scratch the surface, you will see a horrible little cesspit – the place is swarming with ***** and ********* who dream of one day becoming fully fledged “real” ***** like those found in nearby Coventry. The town’s name even includes that favourite ****-word, “ming”. The Parade (what’s up with Leamington? Any other town calls the main street “Main Street” or “High Street”) sees Novas and Fiestas rev up and down while the Burberry clad drivers listen to their Sean Paul CDs at maximum volume.

But turn left near the bottom of The Parade for **** Central. First stop on any **** sightseeing tour of this dump should be the local nick. Here you can have a laugh as the local dibble book the Waynes and Kevins of mid-Warwickshire for ****-crimes while Sharon and Tracey wait outside with their prams screaming “It weren’t ‘im. He aint dun nuffink.” Next door we have the courts and probation centres, where a constant stream of ****** learn the outcome of their crimes. If you ever want to suffer the effects of passive smoking, just wait outside the court as scores of skinheaded ***** chain-smoke while they await their fate in their cheap Top Man suits and white reebock trainers.

Just up the road there’s the Job Centre Plus – easily recognisable by the Staffordshire Bull Terriers chained up outside, and the souped-up Chavmobiles parked on the double yellows. You’ll also find Hybrid Arts here – a do-gooding association that “offers training and advice” to “the disadvantaged” (**** **** to me and you), but in practice acts as a meeting place for the little ******** who play on the free pool table before deciding which office block to rob today.

I’m unfortunate enough to work in an office on **** Street, and recently witnessed a comedy failed robbery attempt. The **** in question smashed a car window, swiped the goods on the car’s back seat but was intercepted by my boss before he could reach his getaway vehicle (a pushbike!) The police were called while my boss held the culprit, who could well be the thickest **** in the UK. He managed to get away, but instead of running away, ran inside the office block where he was nabbed by my mate George (who is perhaps the tallest office worker in the country at 7 foot 4). Bring back ******* I say.