where do we begin? ok, well, the picturesque high street is lined on both sides by sport shops and “up” market, budget, ladies fashion emporia.
the high street also has an abudance of take away meat boutiques. i say meat because some of those kebabs are a bit stringy. outside these culinary palaces we can find the local ****, swigging buckfast and harrassing passer-bys for either **** or 10 pence. there are usually neddettes accompanying their beaus, showing off their latest tin-wear from elizabeth duke.
moving on from the delights of the high street we come to beveridge park, home to the local “dogging” club. if you are unfamiliar with the practice of dogging i suggest checking with a less reputable site :). the (once) lovely park is also the night time refuge of the local underage drinking scene where the natives gather to compare scars and debate the virtues of beige or blue burberry products. top of the debating clubs list this season is whether le coq is more ladie-pleasing the lacoste.
after you have taken your fill from this veritable garden of delights i invite you to move down towards the promenade where the local clubs can be found, jakie-o’s, the candle rooms and after dark. the weekend denizens of these watering holes provide fife constabulary with some much appreciated overtime and fife council with an excuse to try out their latest blood/vomit removers for the paving stones.
i trust you have enjoyed this brief tour through this (once great and historic) town.
remember, kevlar vests and personal protection devices are NOT an option, they are a requirement.