Egremont – crushingly depressing

Is Egremont a nice place to live or is Egremont rough?

Egremont, Cumbria. Words can’t express how desperately depressing this forgotten hovel is. “A convenient gateway to Wasdale and the lakes” they say – but NOTHING including convenience can justify a stop, or even a dive through here. The outside of pubs and shops tell you all you need to know. They look boarded up despite somehow being open. You can’t read the names of some of these “businesses” on life support as most of the letters have fallen off their signage.

The one restaurant in town, [a bistro we can’t name for legal reasons] is honestly the worst “eatery” I’ve been too. Traditional home cooked food it says outside…… my god it sucks. The food is dreadful and dangerous. Dodgy scallops served on a stale moldy crumpet I sh*t you not. Monkfish curry aka a bucket of sludge in a bowl. The chef can’t cook for toffee – the dishes of sh*t are culinary atrocities. Awful and vomit inducing. It should be called MUCK Bistro and must be shut down. No atmosphere, a fly blown lung.

God knows what the poor blighters do here for employment…. I guess Sellafield.

As special punishment we stayed in a damp house in Egremont, which 100 years ago would have been quite grand but is now poorly maintained and surrounded by an horrific housing estate with rubbish blowing through its desolate streets.

This is a land that the UK forgot. No amount of leveling up can bring this place back to life. Leveling up – it simply needs leveling.

If I stayed here beyond a weekend I’d need prozac and a bottle of gin a day to dull out the overwhelming sense of waste and depression that is Egremont.