Ilfracombe, known better locally as ILFRASCUM! boy, I can’t believe I left the South East to live in a hole like this.
The locals are classically ****** and embrace Chavism withought actually having the intelligence to understand fully what it is.
I had though shell suits were no longer available being the naffest of the naff, they still buy and wear them down here. The gold jewellery is quite often not actually gold as none of them could afford it.
Health workers have told me that over half the teenage population have Chlamydia and single mothers are rife, usually wearing cropped tops, allowing their obese stomachs to hang over their hipsters in a grotesque fashion. These girls have really made it in life when their **** boyfriend gets them pregnant and they can move out of the council house into a bedsit where they leech from society. I swear there are more of them here than in Harlow in Essex.
The male ***** idea of a good car is the classic Nova or Metro but its not souped up because they don’t know how and certainly couldn’t afford to. But they still pride in being able to hand brake turn round the sea front when the sun goes down.
The towns only nightclub is called Luckies, you would have to be lucky not to go there without having some local **** punch you for being an outsider, or even worse catching some infectious sexually transmitted disease from a local *******. They spit and urinate in the street and take great joy at screaming at 2am because they feel great with all the exctasy flowing round their pale and puny bodies (cheaper than alcohol isn’t it). A previous description of Exeter is very relevant to Ilfracombe because most of the branded clothes seen on these **** are snide as well, bought down the pub that also embraces most other illegal contraband to supplement incomes.
A night isn’t a good night without at least one high street window broken, a fight and a takeaway from a van which ends up discarded on the floor.
The youth in this town live in a vacum of morals and standards, christ they even steal from the charity shops that seem to be every other shop on the high street.
When these ***** grow up what happens to them, well it seems they become town councillors who have no idea how to promote a failing seaside town, choosing to promote any event in the town with a hand painted sign at the top of the road. Have they not heard of proffesionalism?
They recently lost funding for a Marina, through total ineptitude, a major supermarket pulled out of a development on the outskirts of the town and so to is a local holiday firm considering pulling out, fed up of being messed about by insignificant people who do not have any vision when it comes to the future of Ilfracome.
Ilfracombe the home of the great **** pretenders because lets face it, they can’t even do that right.
