well, where do i start. there are the mindles hordes of ***** outside kwiksave, mindless hordes outside our local leisure centre, mindless hordes in KFC, mindless hordes in festival park. in fact you could say they’re everywhere.
lets start with the secondary schools. there are two of them (glyncoed comp aka glyncoed barmy army and ebbw vale comp aka scummers) these two wonderful schools are consistently at war with each other. it has actually come to a point where glyncoed pupils have been banned from going onto emlyn avenue (the battlefield) because elderly neighbours have been terrified to leave their homes. among the **** students of these schools it has become a popular pastime for the males to give each other lovebites. on their eyes. i dont know whether they think it makes them look “well ‘ard” or not but i think its ******* ridiculous. at lunchtimes and after school, local 17-23 yr old ***** like to loiter outside the schools waiting for their pubescent girlfriends to come out so they can have a quick shag down by the river ebbw, up garnlydan reservoir or alternatively the nearest bush. i challenge you to enter a school in this area without finding a pregnant pre-teen.
the town on a friday night is not a great place to be. if you’re not run over by the retards in the kitted up corsas, who’ve probably done the same circuit round the area about 20 times, too busy listening to their ‘beats’ to hear your screams, then you’ll probably be knifed outside wetherspoons or the market tavern for your big mac and coke. and dont get me started on hilltop. these guys will literally steal the shoes off your feet. do NOT at any cost, go to hilltop after a heavy night as the likelihood that you’ll collapse and get your shoelaces nicked is very high.
friday is also market day in ebbw vale town centre. this is where the ********* go to get bargain von dutch/ moschino/ burberry/ playboy (all fake) avoid the market if at all possible. you’ll probably get heckled by the mindless youths e.g called a goff/ deather. besides, the amount of fake gold jewellery that turns you green is offensive to your average human being.
now i’m off to put on my disguise (burberry hat, shellsuit etc.) to avoid getting the **** kicked in to me while i go shopping.
