Chichester – Well what can i say? It’s quite frankly invested. You basically take your life in your own hands being different in this place.
Burberry cap wearing, “argos bling” incrusted, nonsense talking goons are more common than the postman and i hear more attempted “insults” from them then if i were to take father jacks alcohol away, that is if you manage to understand what they are actually saying first.
The most common of all of these “insults” is “Greebo” it certainly doesn’t do it’s job very well considering it doesn’t insult me in the slightest, it just becomes rather annoying, especially when coupled with “Ah look itza Greebo ‘innit maaayte” erm…excuse me???? These irratating dickheads have a number of places they enjoy “hangin wit da crew” The cross, where they shout insults at anyone who unluckily happens to be passing. Outside one stop, where they gather in immense numbers to tuck their track suit bottoms into their socks whilst hurling yet more insults at anyone who won’t buy them **** and Macdonalds where the older ones park their neon lighted ****-mobiles after deafening us with their um-cha um-cha um-cha **** beforing taking over the place and treating their pregnant 15 year old girlfriends to a romantic slap up big mac.

I wouldn’t have a problem with them if they didn’t have the attitude problem and feel the need to hurl abuse at people who haven’t got dressed either blind-folded or in the dark like themselves, have a far better musical taste and actually have a decency towards other people. As for the “***** in training” (the little cocky ***** who think they can take on the world and insist on getting in your face) well they enjoy wondering round town harassing ordinary folk going about their daily business and always enjoy kindly explaining that “their older bruv is gonna batter ya one” I really have to fight back the laughter, for use a word in response with more than 3 letters and they are totally bemused.

Simple advice: avoid the place!

Chichester or should i dub it Shitchester is slowly but surely becoming the capital of **** **** in the south.
Be sure to watch your back in this place that time forgot, and everything else seems to have forgot. For the Homious Retardious (****) likes to hang out basically anywhere wher they can cause trouble. In a word everywhere. One favourite place this modern day delinquent creature likes to inhabit is anywhere that sells tobacco. The little 13 year olds hang around outside asking intelligent people to go buy their products for them. ” Scuze us maaate goooooooo get us some faaagz wouldya mush”. A simple retort of “No” would mean that person would get a barrage of abuse and obliterives not that anyone actually gives a **** as its all been heard before.
However aside from this they main popular area for the ****/ ******** is the Cross. This is the central part of the town in Shitchester and is guaranteed area for trouble should you approach it. Hear they hurl abuse at you and given half the chance try to mug you. The so called ‘ ard nuts have to go in groups of about 10 at least to one person cos they cant handle a back lash!
Unfortunately for myself I moved to this deepest depths of hell town roughly 3 years ago. At this point in time it was to some point actually quite tolerable. I wearing such clothing as Slipknot, Marilyn Manson and Cradle of Filth products could walk through the town with no grief at all. Not now. It feels like walking through a Ghetto.
The usual **** comes out you know “Greebo” ( would someone mind explaining to be what the **** thats meant to mean!) “Goth,Satan,Sick” The funniest one I find is “Grunger” they dont realise grunge died with Kurt Cobain ten years ago. Bless their single digit IQs.

If you want my advice avoid this ****-hole there is plenty more better places to visit.
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More often known as ‘Shitchester’, this has to be one of the weirdest places to live. Here the ***** sometimes speak with plums in their mouths but still get their leggings, sportsgear etc at hargreaves sports. They like to pick on anyone with an education, who wasn’t born in the town, or who is not a raging xenophobic jerk. Go out on any Friday or Sat night and the pubs are overflowing onto the streets with fights, glassings and ******** up for it with any one-eyed ****** moron who happens to be passing. The people who aren’t ***** are a bunch of arrogant, stuck up prats who are just about the unfriendliest people you could ever meet.

Go out to the villages surrounding Chichester and you will find ****** yob families who come from places like Leigh Park, and a species of private school **** who wasn’t intelligent enough to do A levels or go to university, who despises those who did and who smashes up their cars and houses. They usually take their cue from the ****** morons who live locally. They spend their days thieving, doing drugs or getting pissed in the one pub they are still allowed to use.

Whatever you do, give Chichester a miss and avoid the villages like West Ashling which has a few major problem families like the one in Down Street whose members attack their neighbours, scrawl libellous remarks on their property and who shout at them to **** off from their windows. Then there are the Leigh Park ******* from Heather Close who really should have been castrated at birth.

The most bizarre aspect of all these **** **** is that they are also *****. They have tried to lay a thin veneer of respectability over their essentially **** souls, but once they upset someone they get aggressive and the veneer falls away to expose the black **** hearts of these utter ****.

Avoid this evil unfriendly little ******** like the plague!