Recently forced to move here (temporarily I must add) and I have felt compelled to add chavverton to your list. I am astounded that nobody has got there before me but this might be because of the incurred death threats such an entry would recieve. As a suburb of Oldham, chavverton leaves much to be desired in the sphere of community harmony. A welcoming party of mixed race ***** awaits at the junction of drury lane and turf lane where they ‘hang out’ outside the polash indian takeaway, dealing drugs and getting little ***** up the duff. The tracksuit bottoms are being worn very high this season with at least 8 inches of exposed white sock and the fashionable street scowl which passing motorists cannot fail to notice. Broadway is home to Spacky – D’s and pizza hut which seems to be another local hotspot but main attraction is the street fights. Many a night i have sat at my window after the house has been lovingly coated in eggs and wet toilet paper, watching and listening to the carnival of street sounds made by the gangs of feral ***** who roam the area, free from the costraints of modern society. They seem to have great fun play-fighting with each other and screaming cunningly wrought obscenities in the small hours. Such examples include: “Im gonna ******* bang you out”, “Come back here and say that you *****”, “he’s / she’s dead (delete as applicable)” “you ****** **** / **** /**** /*****… (the list is endless)”. Such vocabulary as I have never before witnessed and used in such a decisive manner. The trainnee ***** seem to poulate the local playing fields where they wander in groups carrying golf clubs (as if!) and / or taking part in ‘the biggest dog in the world competition’. The current champion is about 6 foot tall (i kid you not) and seems to have been crossed with a dinosaur fossil. Needless to say, based on number of ***** per square inch, i think chavverton deserves top ranking. I moving a.s.a.p.
