Whether it’s culture or chavness you want, you can experience it all in ‘Cov’. For the upwardly mobile *****, one can find them at MacDonald’s carpark on the Holyhead Rd, Sunday night; practicing burnouts, checking out each others engines, bass-boxes etc and racing the 1/4 mile from Officeworld roundabout to the lights at Safeways. Daytime […]
Category: West Midlands
The worst places to live in the West Midlands
Borehamwood – **** Media Central
A place where even the fuckwits in the Big Brother house look classy.I used to work at the Film Studios here, and fortunately they had gates and security guards to keep the little feckers out. However, whenever a show needed a “rent a mob” audience, the gates were thrown open and the local ***** swarmed […]
Dudley
A Guided Tour of the ********* Town in the Midlands A clear winner for the title of ********* Town in the Midlands (although I admit it faces stiff competition from Kidderminster and Telford), Dudley has it all. Follow me on a tour of the wonderland… Our journey starts at Dudley Bus Station. Let’s start with […]
Nuneaton
This is a town where the chavsters reign supreme. The men are crowned with fake Burberry caps in White Lightening ceremonies in the local kiddies parks. Girls have two goals in life: to get pregnant by the age of 16 and to buy as much jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos as possible. McDonalds is […]
Worcester
If, and probably when, England becomes a **** nation, and King Jason and Queen Chelsea are sitting on a burberry throne, the capital will surely move to Worcester. The city centre contains everything for your modern-day ****. Argos, Index, McDonalds… The main hangout is indeed the latter, where smoking ****, the cheaper the better, spitting […]
Shrewsbury (Almost at **** status but not quite)
As a Shrewsbury lad, supporter of the local football team and someone who loves his home town to bits…it’s painful to say it….but Shrewsbury is coming close to **** status. I’ve now moved away to a big city (rather be in Shrewsbury!) for my job. I was in Shrewsbury yesterday and the burberry handbags, dyed […]
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Uttoxeter
Ladies and Gentlemen,I introduce to you Utoxeter,a secret den for *****.A little market town in Staffordshire,twined with Roston Vasey! Home to JCB ( Just ***** Babe),Elkes Biscuits(the equivilant of a ***** social club) oh,and **** water. The unfortunate visitor can’t help but notice the strangely high foreheads these ***** have.Worryingly,they all look related! The young […]
Telford
Telford is the grimmest place on the planet, and home to 99% of *****/*********. Telford was created as an overspill town in the 1970’s from over populated Birmingham and Wolverhampton areas. Town Planners never thought that Telford would become a magnet for the masses of ***** that live there in boarded up grief holes on […]
Northfield Birmingham
Anyone that has had the pleasure of waiting at the lights by Northfields premier shopping centre must have had that ‘am I on the set of Dawn of the Dead feeling’. To get that many faded puple tracksuit tops on that many men, woman, teenagers, zombies is really something. The City Council must be considering […]
Sutton Coldfield -rich **** heaven
Visitors to Sutton Coldfield can marvel at the appalling Wyndley Leisure Centre, the nasty Gracechurch Shopping Centre and the profusion of wine bars at Mere Green There is far more to Sutton Coldfield than meets the eye. Once a geteel town, it became part of Birmingham in the 1970s (fair enough -anybody with a good […]
Weoley Castle, Birmingham: it’s rough, Weoley, Weoley rough
Welcome to Birmingham, Britain’s 2nd city. Actually a self-appointed title, presumably because it’s second only to London when it comes to concrete, piss-distressed shopping centres and unemployment. Whilst Brummies will (no chips on shoulders here, bab) remind you the city has more mileage of canal than Venice (the difference being that in the Midlands you […]
Read More… from Weoley Castle, Birmingham: it’s rough, Weoley, Weoley rough
Hereford or Rfurd
Hereford is best known for being a pretty, sleepy rural town steeped in history. Unbeknownst to the average tourist buying local postcards and jam, is the notion that they are stumbling upon one of the best kept secrets in ***** breeding ground history. High Town being the favourite, where various Pram Faces push around their […]
