Penzance

Penzance used to be a rather pleasant, hard-working resort town whose populace comprised of hippy dope smokers, fisherfolk, artists, and local workers in the tourist shops, care homes and light industrial units. Nothing special, but a place where you could wander (bare foot if you liked) without fear of stepping in vomit, broken breezer bottles […]

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Swindon

**** me, where do I start? I trundled down the M4 from London to get some work – which was easy as it appears most people my age are sitting on their **** butts milking it off the DSS. The centre of town is positively heaving with 14 yr old **** girls ( all ugly […]

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Portreath: The adult and teen chapters of the Cornish Mafia

Is Portreath a nice place to live or is Portreath rough?

Portreath is riddled with ner’do’wells and, like Illogan (see my previous post) has two distinct forms of Cornish Mafia. The adult and the teen chapters. The adult chapter of the Cornish Mafia are made up of wannabe politicians and local fishermen. These people meet on a regular basis and discuss vitally important issues like whether […]

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Swindon

This town, in all rights, should be in the top 10. For it is a town that is pure ****, and what makes things worse is that it doesn’t realise it is ****. The name Swindon literally means “Pig Hill” (from the Anglo-Saxon (Swine Dun). Ironical really. This is a town that was shat straight […]

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Bridgwater: like an open cesspit, the thickest sh*ts tend to accumulate here

Is Bridgwater a nice place to live or is Bridgwater rough?

Bridgwater is best described as a ‘meeting place’ in that like an open cess-pit, the thickest ***** tend to accumulate here. These are the people that cut themselves shaving and place the plaster on the mirror. Cro-magnon man would have no trouble fitting-in here though his wife would need to get a ‘wide load’ tattoo […]

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Poole, Dorset

OK. Hows this for irony. The council produce merchandise for the modest town of poole, slogan: ‘Poole, it’s a beautiful place’. What the ****? It’s a growing ******** of a place which is solely down to the fact that it’s a magnetic haven for the dregs of our society – *****. They are everywhere and […]

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Honiton

Ah Honiton. Well there is two opinions of Honiton . The first is that Honiton is a splendid market town which is renowned for making lace and pottery with an energetic night life. There’s never adull moment in Honiton. And there is the other opinion. Honiton is the biggest **** hole in the south west […]

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Frome, Somerset

Welcome to Frome, truly the **** jewel in this septic isle. However, Frome ***** have fallen on hard times as whereas the ‘X’-reg Saxo or Clio is the staple of Northern *****, ours have to make do with ‘L’-reg Citroen AXs. I have even observed 15-year old Renault 5s hacking it over the bridge at […]

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Christchurch

Right, ****’s are everywhere! don’t you agree. After investigation it seems that they dwell at two extremes of the spectrum. They are/were products of rich parents spoiling, or fresh out of the communal breeding grounds known as the council estates. In this case Somerford council estate is the main concern. If they are a product […]

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