Not my home town (Yeovil is covered elsewhere!) but the mecca for ***** on holiday where I had the fortune (or misfortune) to work in all summer! Newquay is well known for being a centre for ***** on tour. I mean the whole town thrives on the money they all bring in. There aren’t actually […]
Category: Cornwall
The worst places to live in Cornwall
callington the crack den
Callington it seems unlike alot of towns i have been reading about as aposed to being blessed with the mouthy larey ****/swilly/scallys, thats only the start of the ***** education here infact i would go as far as to say thats what the 6 year olds are doing. no our town is infected with a […]
Bodmin. Home of the crazy frog ****.
Placed on the edge of a moor, Bodmin has the distinction of being the single most miserable place in all of Cornwall. This tiny town nestles in a valley and is home to a large mental institution and an old prison famous for the highest prison wall ever built. It also has some of the […]
saltash
well the ***** in saltash hav all now mostly moved to the new housing estate call pillmere and re-named by people like me swillmere. the younger ***** hang around in the new parks that have been made tryin to act all hard by standing there in gangs of 10 and if you and some freinds […]
Camborne…Home of militant **** carnage
Camborne is plonked on the A30 like a boil on the **** of a tramp. It is situated about three miles west of Redruth in Cornwall. The **** population are a mixed bunch but by far the most dangerous of them were members of the Cornish terrorist/sepratist movement known as An Goff. An Goff is […]
Newquay
The Ibiza of the UK So- you’re a ****. You want to celebrate your two GCSE ‘passes’ (probably Es). What better way then a cheeky weekender in magical Newquay, the Ibiza of the UK. So grab your favourite ******** mates, load up your bitchin’ 1.1L Fiesta (with bodykit) and motor yourself to Cornwall at top […]
Penzance
Penzance used to be a rather pleasant, hard-working resort town whose populace comprised of hippy dope smokers, fisherfolk, artists, and local workers in the tourist shops, care homes and light industrial units. Nothing special, but a place where you could wander (bare foot if you liked) without fear of stepping in vomit, broken breezer bottles […]
Portreath: The adult and teen chapters of the Cornish Mafia
Portreath is riddled with ner’do’wells and, like Illogan (see my previous post) has two distinct forms of Cornish Mafia. The adult and the teen chapters. The adult chapter of the Cornish Mafia are made up of wannabe politicians and local fishermen. These people meet on a regular basis and discuss vitally important issues like whether […]
Read More… from Portreath: The adult and teen chapters of the Cornish Mafia
Newquay
Ahh Newquay, the ultimate **** experiance. No townie worth his fake burberry untill he’s visited this hot bed of spied activity. The streets are lined with old nova’s and the beaches and hotels are packed with *****. But it wasnt always that way. Just a few years ago i went down to cornwall for the […]
Newquay, home sweet hell hole
It may come as a surprise to some people, but I can write, operate a computer and I’m from Newquay. I’m kind of used to hearing people whine and ***** about how Newquay’s gone down hill, and that’s just from the rest of Cornwall. Let alone disappointed tourists. So imagine my delight of returning home […]
Torpoint
Ere yer conts anat. Torpoint is the most fockin mentoe part of Plimuff there is anat. Apart from it isn’t actually in Plimuff. Torpoint has the highest rate of teenage pregancy in the UK, a naval base (focksaplenty for the bords anat, innit?) otherwise the genepool is pretty much stagnant, some of the ****** locals […]
Newquay
Of all the towns and cities I have visited in this green and pleasant land Newquay has to be the least green and least pleasant. The town which seems to come up most on this site seems to be Redhill, and I agree that it is a particularly ****** area I stayed there for a […]
