The worst places to live in West Sussex
Polo is this town’s main entertainment. Too bad it occurs only a few months a year. You get to see Gauchos being brayed at by chinless wonders smashed on Veuve Clicquot (they sponsored the local mallet-&-Horse extravaganza for a few years). I heard Katie Price attended once. She could’ve bustled in to the local tapas […]
Read More… from Midhurst: Come for the Chukkas. Stay for the Gizzard-rolling
Ahh good old Crawley… where to start? Let me start with the sh*thole county mall: the type of mall that not only favours fake mobile phone shops and cheap crappy clothing. It also favours ***** that desire ruining your shopping day by calling you a **** or a f*ggot. This mall is so bad for […]
Read More… from Crappy Crawley – depressing hole of the south
Chichester is a city with delusions of grandeur. It wants to be Bath, Oxford or Winchester. It cannot hope to match the cultural significance of these, or the affluence of the towns and cities such as Petersfield, Haslemere and Guildford with their direct commuter routes to London. It has a large student population but cannot […]
Read More… from Chichester: The Hyacinth Bucket of the South
Anyone who lives within 50 miles of Crawley will be aware of its somewhat undesirable reputation. As a Surrey boy, I was less than impressed when a career move and a new relationship led to me having to rent a flat in the centre of town. Now, as I prepare to move on after around […]
Read More… from Avoid Crawley if you have a shred of decency
Haywards Hoth dates back to 1544 meaning a “heath by the enclosure with a hedge”. An unsearchable and unheard of ‘legend’ suggests that the town is named after a local highway man, Jack Hayward, who committed his crimes in the vicinity at some undefined period in the past. I suspect this is a colossal in-joke […]
I have lived in East Grinstead now for 5 years. Although the town has one of the oldest high streets in the country, it does not take away from the fact that it’s a nasty horrible place. The town itself is filled with *****, nutters, nasty middle-class idiots and Scientologists (the national Scientology headquarters is […]
Read More… from East Grinstead: a nothing town filled with horrible people
What even is Horsham? Horsham is spending the majority of your time at school making fart noises with your armpit then ten years later, owning your own business with 10 employees and a fleet of vans. It’s dreading walking down West Street in the company of your own mother, because in all likelihood, you’ll pass […]
So, I’ve lived here for over 10 years now and I have to say that Bognor is the shitest backwater slop-house that you could ever hope to not live in. It’s unofficial name, ‘The Cancer of the South Coast’, is truly deserved. The ‘people’ here (for want of a better word) act like the world […]
Read More… from Bognor Regis is the sh*test backwater slop-house
On the face of it Horsham portrays itself as a small pleasant old English market town. Truthfully it is very over crowded and expanding at a rate far beyond what its market town statement can or could ever cope with. Horsham use to boast a near 0% unemployment however with immigration, closing down of Horsham’s […]
Read More… from Horsham, a nothing town of retired or retiring civil service employees
Now Horsham didn’t use to be bad. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad! At least this was what I thought when I grew up there and spent just under half my life there! It’s a bit like being given a rich tea biscuit every day and trying nothing else. You think the rich tea […]
H.G. Wells studied and taught at the school, Midhurst Grammar (as it was then). The school has since been turned into an academy, and resembles the starship Enterprise, if it had crashed into a brick factory, and Grange Hill. It was the events of 1880 that inspired Wells to speculate and ********* about tripod fighting […]
Pagham: that fieldy place adjacent to Bognor Regis, neighbour to Chichester and the land of “No, you can’t cut across there to get to Selsey.” If you’re in the lucky 0.8% of the Pagham population who is under 60 years old and doesn’t drive a Nissan Micra at an astounding 15mph, well done. You’ve somehow […]
Read More… from Pagham: that fieldy place adjacent to Bognor Regis
