South East - iLiveHere: Best & Worst UK Towns Reviewed

Gosport, HAMPSHIRE.

The local ***** tend to frequent the town centre on Friday and Saturday nights. Fat Gosport girls (usually fat from having 6 children by 18) shout and ball it there branded sports gear (with shoes, not trainers as they still have to adhere to club dress-codes), and are usually smothered in cheap jewellery from the […]

Basingstoke

Basingstoke has not only the highest concentration of ***** but must also qualify as having the ugliest ***** as well. The new shopping centre is awash with fake burbery and the squeek of cheap white trainers on the fake marble floors. Every other person is a fat teenage mother with three kids of different colours […]

Chesham, Buckinghamshire

I know this town is listed twice already, but I have to comment…Chesham would be a nice picturesque town, very leafy, in a beautiful valley. The place is a little underfunded by the local government (Tory, as ever) but otherwise it’s great. However… The ***** are here too. Every night, they loiter outside the McDonalds’ […]

Dartford

Can’t believe that no-one has mentioned Dartford yet. I had the misfortune to work there for a year. Before I visited the town, I imagined it was a quaint Kent market town with interesting architecture. In fact it’s like a grim Northern industrial town that has been re-assembled brick-by-brick in the south-east of England. The […]

orpington kent (the one and only)

this really is one of the most depressing ********* on earth. mums with buggys , hoopy gold earrings and pastel coloured towelling market tracksuits with snotty nosed “**** to be” brats with little fake burberry hats. there is a varied selection of ***** ******** pubs to choose from in the high street where you can […]

Woking, the bits you missed!

Hmm it can only be described as the ultimate breeding ground for the **** like things! I sure biologists from around the world would have a field day discovering the different types of human sub life that are in that town! Surprising reading the other posts they missed the largest **** centre of them all […]

Guildford

My, My, My. What can I say. Since i arrived here 2 years ago to start university-and thats the university not guildford college to all you ***** out there, i have never seen so many ***** littering the streets. Baseball caps at 45 degrees upwards, ****** cars everywhere you look and enough burberry to make […]

Brighton

post office queue, in the co-op, london road, brighton 2 catagories of person: pensioners = pension ***** = giro top **** hang-out. qualify for **** status, you must: 1 wear as much gold jewellery as possible – preferably 3 or more gold hoops in each ear, lots of chains & 2 or more sovereign rings […]

Staines

I can’t believe Staines isn’t already listed! The ‘home’ of Ali ‘G’ and subsequently ‘The Staines Massive’ – because the inhabitants of this place, so named because it is A DIRTY MARK ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH, actually think he’s for real. Yes, honestly.I have seen graffiti proclaiming the territory of “ThE staIns mASiv” […]

Woking(again)

I can’t keep quiet and must provide you with my further adventures of everyday life in the spunkbubble town of Woking and its despicable ‘care in the community’ burbury wearing shitcreep population of *****. In Dantes Inferno he describes that there are in fact 7 levels of hell and on the bottom level you will […]

Aylesbury Innit

It isn’t documented when Aylesbury was first twinned with Innit, but now one can’t imagine them as seperate entities. Aylesbury is a bog town, swamped with all manner of **** species. Within Lowered Nova SRI driving distance of Bicester Village, a Factory Outlet built with ***** in mind. A Burberry store opposite a Reebok Shop […]

Woking (an addition to something previously missed!)

Basically, Woking has already been pointed out that it harbours a worryingly high population of charvae…. however the vital ingredient in the increace of the **** population within Woking has got to be the Peacock Centre… It’s 4 floors of pure chavdom… god forbid someone buys a meal from the foodcourt to eat it at […]