A once tranquil, middle class town situated near the beautiful South Downs. Now brimming with Nova-driving, Elizabeth Duke-wearing **** **** retards. Is no place sacred anymore? Haywards Heath shouldn’t be a **** town. I shouldn’t be writing this. But it is and therefore I am. Our town’s only inhabitant used to be solely middle-class, affluent […]
Category: South East
The worst places to live in South East England
Thanet, Kent (Ramsgate, Margate, Broadstairs)
I seriously cannot believe no one has submitted Ramsgate, Margate or Broadstairs yet. I’m sure the first ever **** stemmed from ‘Planet Thanet’. Ever since I can remember, the town centres have been plauged by ***** ‘loining’ in the high street, smoking **** and letting all the other ***** and ********* stroke their Staff Terrier. […]
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Chaversham/Faversham
Faversham. Or, as it’s become affectionately known, Chaversham. Home of the ****. Hell to anyone who possesses an IQ above 35. Here, the main industries are beer brewing, and fish and chip shops. Both of these treats make up a bulky part of the average ****’s evening. The town centre becomes unapproachable after 5:30pm, with […]
Wokingham
After having read some of the other entries on this site Wokingham doesn’t yet have epidemic levels of **** infiltration. However, slowly but surely this ********* filth is making its presence felt. This has been confirmed by the recently opened Argos. Below I have written a few brief stories about my **** encounters. Toilet Etiquette […]
Basingstoke – Mockney w@nker heaven?
Basingstoke… Well maybe it’s not so bad these days I guess. Some people plaudit our rebuilt town centre with the widely acclaimed “Festival Place” shopping mall as a shinning example of successful urban renewal. But then again anything would have been better than the wretched cesspit of concrete and **** we had previously. The luftwafe […]
Hythe oh Hythe!
there is a small coastal village that most have never heard of despite it being the ‘birthplace of the ****’. hythe is possibly the smallest place in the uk with the highest cpm2 (or **** per square mile!!!) of any town ever mentioned!! It truely is the mecca for the burberry massive, anyone who considers […]
Chessington World of Adventures
After reading the entries on the delightful Alton Towers, Pearl of Chavton Orient, I was stunned to note the dearth of posts regarding its sluttier sister… CWoA!! Avid readers will again note, this is not about a town exactly, but lets face it -what have poor Alton or Chessington got ‘going’ for them besides the […]
Basingstoke
Ahhh, Basingstoke! Famous for it’s roundabouts and general awfulness, it now has a new draw for ***** from all over Hampshire – The Festival Place shopping centre. You begin to realise the true **** horror that awaits you inside as you make your way into the car park. The entrance ramp is full of obnoxious […]
Redhill- *Deadhill*
Rite well, wat can i say.. if u aint heard of “deaders” or “Deadhill” before then.. ya lucky..!! **** Central.. its got all the Bling!! massive gold ear-rings wiv TACKY girls names in em .. like “chantell” n “britney” its got the gold medalions.. those ****** nasty DUSTBIN LID rings.. wat ever u call em..?… […]
Portsmouth, Portsdown Hill (Viewpoint)
Please let me draw your attention to Portsdown Hill, which is situated a mile or so out of Portsmouth and more specifically The Viewpoint, a car park offering a panoramic view of this ****-ridden, Vauxhall Nova ******** varucca at the foot of this country we love. From here you can see such wonderous sights as […]
High Wycombe
Nestled in the heart of the quaint greenery of Buckinghamshire’s Chiltern Hills you might expect to find a quaint little village with picket fences, a lush cricket and bowls green and a collection of eccentric but otherwise pleasant locals living in thatched cottages straight from some picture book you were forced to read by your […]
Havant. And how four ***** bit off more than they could chew…
Havant isn’t very nice. In the town centre there is a pretty little church, an occasional French market and one or two decent pubs (The Robin Hood and The Old House at Home). The rest of the area will be familiar to anyone who has nominated or even read about their own town: 1. The […]
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