Marlow, Berkshire a town that now has more fake vegans per square metre than any other in the UK. Marlow used to be a friendly, welcoming place to enjoy and relax into but it is now blighted by narcissist residents. There couldn’t be a mirror big enough for the ever-growing self-obsessed population of Marlow who […]
Category: Buckinghamshire
The worst places to live in Buckinghamshire
Aylesbury: find yourself in a traffic jam
As you enter into Aylesbury, you find yourself in a traffic jam because someone decided to put a bunch of traffic lights and roundabouts everywhere. Don’t worry, it’s all part of the tour. Being stuck in the traffic allows you to observe the magnificent beauty of all the ‘trashy citizens’ that live there. It’s truly […]
High Wycombe aka BTEC Slough
“Breaking News: Man stabbed outside church”, only in High Wycombe does someone get shanked in front of the Lord and half the population of Frogmore is permanently sh*t-faced and…umm…Desborough. The epitome of abject failure and never ending misery. When you get so lost you wind up in High Wycombe, you’ll have the sudden urge to […]
High Wycombe- a place once famed for its furniture making and heritage, now famed for being a s**thole
A place so dull and awful it cannot be said enough, a town once known as a scenic marketplace is now just a squalid mess, the very centre of Wycombe is the worst with up to 12 homeless people either asking for change or threatening you around it seems every corner. A familiar sight is […]
Totteridge: Where every Tesco comes with a bunch of ********!
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in the depths of hell? Then Come visit Totteridge where every 13 year old girl gets a pram bought for her at Xmas! Even though there’s a Tesco on every f*cking corner, unemployment is still through the roof, as you’ve got more chance of […]
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Chesham! More Like Mayhem!
Chesham, despite having a charming Old Town, is akin to the seventh ring of hell! I have lived in this nightmare place for seven years now and hate, hate, HATE it! It is a haven for narrow minded gossips who ‘have’ to focus on the lives of others as their own lives are pretty empty […]
High Wycombe, hearing the words reminds of the smells of piss & ganja
High Wycombe, two of the worst words in the English language, just hearing the words reminds of the smells of piss and ganja. I have had the unfortunate burden of being born and living in this town, Being here my whole life, I can give the true “lowdown” on this Buckinghamshire ghetto. Firstly, what is […]
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Loudwater – “the edge of High Wycombe, not actually High Wycombe, OK???”
Loudwater is a ‘not-village’ nestled between the black hole of High Wycombe and the posh, achingly middle class Beaconsfield. Situated along London Road, walking anywhere in Loudwater means dodging cars hurtling off the roundabout towards the motorway or trundling to Tesco. Incidentally, living in Loudwater for long enough might just be enough to persuade you […]
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Oh Milton Keynes, Milton Keynes… what have you done to yourself?
Oh Milton Keynes, Milton Keynes…what have you done to yourself? A long standing national joke about Concrete Cows, the gridded roads and a bought in Football team. That’s most people’s sum knowledge about MK, and to be honest, it was mine until i had the dire misfortune to think that moving here would be a […]
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High Wycombe: If Slough and Gaza had a love child
If Slough and Gaza had a love child, Wycombe would be the end result. This is not a town; this is a crater of depression reminiscent of cancer. Literally, if you have considered committing suicide go to High Wycombe. The gods blessed my family by allowing us to live on the outskirts of the district, […]
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Marlow, Full of smug yummy-mummies & the stockbrokers who keep them
Full of smug, self-satisfied yummy-mummies and the stockbrokers who keep them, alongside ancient crumblies who clog the pavements walking 3 astride at 1mph. On the weekend it acts as a haven for the High Wycombe catchment area, attracting aspirational lady diners and bar-goers in search of their very own stockbroker. Inevitably this attracts cynical gentlemen […]
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Aylesbury: eyesore concrete jungle
In the early 1960s some clever p***k in the council discovered there was a building substance called concrete and devoted over 20 minutes convincing the other half dead councillors to rebuild Aylesbury with it, and in an act that rivals Vesuvius’s covering of Pompeii in lava, Aylesbury was covered in Grey. Any building that had […]