Lisburn is full of *****, and not the normal kind you find in most towns who just smoke and wear tracksuits and drink cider and scowl at people. No. Lisburn is full of properly insane *****. There’s something in the water in Lisburn that makes people get a little more crazy every day, and although […]
Category: Northern Ireland
The worst places to live in Northern Ireland
Carrickfergus, an over spill of webslingers
Its been a few years since I left Carrick but I still travel back to see family and friends and **** has that place went down hill ! Commercially it is a ghost town where upon entering you should put on The Specials record of the same name. The town center is a **** hole […]
Antrim – the entire place is a sh*t heap
Antrim is the place that defies normal town planning, most places have “good areas” and “bad areas”; Antrim, on the other hand, makes no distinction between good and bad – the entire place is a sh*t heap. A neglected and run down collage of council estates, populated with the idiots that moved from Belfast and […]
Lurgan, craigavon
Upon entering the town of lurgan 2 things are noticable, the smell and the ammount of chavy *******. They actually think they have gangs. one such "gang" is the albert street crew or as they call themselves "Da Alberto street crew yero laud!" whatever the **** yero or laud means. Lurgan ***** are about the […]
Coleraine – it has it all (except an Iceland, thank god)
Coleraine must stand proud in Ch@vdom, having as it does at least 4 breeding grounds for these monosyllabic, knuckle dragging, slack-jawed, mouth breathing ********. Let me take you on a tour of our delightful paradise and let you decide for yourselves. First we have the Hollywood of *****, Ballysally. This hellhole, with views of the […]
Read More… from Coleraine – it has it all (except an Iceland, thank god)
Belfast: whar yooy lookun at, reet?
Well, what a nice website! I feel my hometown may have been somewhat neglected, and i feel that i should mention our Belfast version of the ****, the ‘spide’. I have lived in England, Scotland, and Wales, but never have I seen such a phenomenon as that which infests good old peaceful Belfast.Our ***** are […]
Strabane: stunning views of shopping trolleys wedged in the river
Beware the Mourne Valley mishap of a town that is Strabane. Squeezed between the villages of Sion Mills and Ballymagorry soon to be amalgamated with euro-ville Lifford,(Lifford ironically houses Strabanes only cinema-yes it’s strabanes, apparently) the town of Strabane is a sure **** central. So you’re in Strabane, and looking for a good time. What […]
Read More… from Strabane: stunning views of shopping trolleys wedged in the river
Belfast
As the song says “You sain’t seen nothing yet”. Belfast, in my opinion, is the Mecca for Spidey (****) behaviour. Take the worst of the ned element of Scotland, the **** element of England, marry it together and – voila – you have the Norn Iron Spide. The Belfast Spide is also affectionately referred to […]
Belfast
It has been a long time since I have set foot on the streets of my hometown, Belfast. I have seen much of the world, and have realised that the **** is a universal species, with each different area having its own particular breed. The Northern Irish Spide is one of the most dangerous. As […]
Ballymena!
I live in the town of ballymena in Northern Ireland, I’m Not really familiar with the ***** as i don’t think there is many up here, But alot of the guys go around with the attitude of a ****, looking to start fights around Ballymena. Our Towns a confusing Town, There are a whole lot […]
Belfast
Come to Belfast! Thats what the advert says… but let me assure you, you better bring protection. Its ****-central my friends and the **** are everywhere. The main **** hangouts are Royal avenue and the adjacent streets off it – jeezus, we even have 2 jjbs on the same street, not 3 shops apart!! And […]
Bangor
A lovely seaside resort; 10 years ago. Now overun by Steeks in their modded chavmobiles, Bangor has become somewhat of a hotspot for drunken disorder, underaged drinking and donuts in the seafront carpark. Since the building of the Kilcooley estate and the migration of ***** from Belfast to these new, ‘luxury’ 2 up, 2 down […]
