The rotting tomato of the world that is Skem, most notably its ridiculously overchavved shopping centre. […]
Category: Lancashire
The worst places to live in Lancashire
Preston, England’s Newest Sh*tty
Preston, a town with a fine history. The place of the Guild Festival. The birthplace of such luminaries as John ‘I’m Free’ Inman and Nick ‘Wallace and Gromit’ Park. Set in the heart of beautiful Lancashire it is a place surrounded by green hills and sparkling rivers. But what’s this? Glancing through my ****-O-Scope I […]
Preston
Well, what can i say? To call Preston a **** ******** hell hole just wouldn’t do it justice. There really needs to be a new word to describe the amount of townies here. Hood **** can be spotted on practically every street corner showing off how far their trackies can be shoved into their socks […]
Burnley
Although I have searched and searched again for this beaut of a town on this site, it would seem that Burnley has not yet been found guilty of the crime of “chavness”. That is until now. Burnley must now stand up and be counted. During the day the pathetic excuse for a town centre is […]
Accrington: The bus rider’s nightmare
I know a couple of other people have made posts about Accrington, but I thought I’d add some aspects which haven’t been mentioned. Being stuck in the town because of work commitments, I envy people who say they used to live here but moved away, and can laughingly give a loveable account after they came […]
Preston
Preston and the towns surrounding it must be the chaviest place in the country. Wherever you look you are sure to see a gang of scallies drinking cheap cider or playing with their stolen mobile phones. Their favourite places to stand around are the bus station, mcdonalds, outside home bargins, and on the market. You […]
Clitheroe
As they said in Godzilla, size does matter. But in Clitheroe, even though it’s so, well, microscopically small, size doesn’t matter. I wish the legendary Japanese monster (or monstaaaaa in townie-speak) himself would come and destroy some of the ****-infected teenagers who hang around this otherwise (fairly) quiet, pleasant market town. No night out in […]
Lancaster (re-written and updated)
The last description i wrote was when i was a bit wasted before going out, so i rewrote it, only just got round to putting it up tho Enjoy!! Lancaster – once a thriving city, famous for its cotton mills, and the wealth created by its georgian port. The remnance of its prosperious past can […]
Accrington (Accy or Akki)
Just thought I’d make a contribution now to the Accrington story. Recently they opened up the Accrington Superbowl. A great stroke of wisdom was that they latched the local 4-screen cinema onto the bowling alley, just besides the drive through McDonalds. The bowling/cinema complex is ran by a small number of college children from the […]
Preston – Birthplace of the ****?
In Preston, angles are important. Sadly, I’m not referring to trigonometric analyses, I’m talking about a number of ***** practises. Your cap must stand, without fail, at no less than 90 degrees upwards from your line of vision. Also, when walking down the streets of Preston, you must sway from side to side by no […]
Blackpool
EVERYWHERE – WE’RE SURROUNDED AND OVER RUN WITH THE ********, they’re like cockroaches, breeding succesfully despite the run down ghetto like pits of degredation they inhabit. To find the local ****’s en masse you have only to check out the prom any day of the week where you’ll find them strutting their stuff attempting to […]
Blackpool – Redux
Barra has written a fine article on this hellhole, but being a nit-picker I should point out that I nominated this dump on 7th July. I mentioned in my previous article that I was being forced to re-visit this pit of Chavdom again this year, and while the unhappy memories are fresh in my mind […]
