The worst places to live in Lancashire
Knott End & Preesall: where the spirits die of boredom. Believe it or not there are places upon this earth that could only come from the warped imagination of some evil genius James Bond villain type. A dark figure sat in a lounge chair, cackling with glee whilst stroking a cat, conjuring up their latest […]
So you wish to give up on life and can’t afford the one way trip to Switzerland? You wish to go for the slow option, terminal decline along the Helter-Skelter to absolute oblivion? But how do you carry out the ‘slow’ option, a lingering, gradual death? Well there is one place that captures death in […]
Read More… from Blackpool: Through the Brown Eye of the 5th horseman and out to Dante’s cesspit
Behold ye a place so gloomy and miserable that not even Heinrich Himmler would dare visit such a depressing edifice of human decay, for such a visit would have necessitated Heinrich’s convalescence in a concentration camp. There is an urban Corpse called Cleveleys, and this sh*tty shanty ‘town’ is very quickly becoming Lancashire’s equivalent to […]
First, we have to run through a checklist to see if you are eligible to fit in in bonny ‘olde Colne. Let’s begin shall we? Let me find my checklist and my pen… Ah, here we go! Do you believe every weekend should consist of getting drunk because there’s nothing else to do? Do you […]
Where do I start with this awful town, pushed slap-bang in the middle of the polar opposites Rufford (full of posh people) and Ormskirk (full of ne’er-do-wells)? First things first, the **********. There’s an article on Burscough which talks quite a lot about Burscough’s “Bad Breeding” (which was the name of the article), so I […]
Read More… from Burscough: Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel
Padiham, the town that inspired the film makers, when making the hills have eyes. It’s a passing place (as I like to call it), because believe me, it’s not worth fekin stopping for anything unless you want impregnating. As you come off the motorway, you drive down a big long hill. Turning right at the […]
I was enchanted as a child by the fairground wonderland of Blackers. The promenade, the pleasure beach, the trams and the illuminations. Now even the thought of visiting this 10th rate smack-****** ********, grotty, STD happy shi@hole, makes me rather have root canal work done! I think Blackers has a tolerance limit of 4 hours, […]
Read More… from Blackpool, a bog-log bobbing adventure by the sea
There are so many wonderful things in Blackpool. The littered beaches, the adorable little orchin children, and the peculiar smell of fish from the council flat round the corner. People say you learn from your mistakes, but if that were true Blackpool wouldn’t have a population. Want to lighten your load? Well visit Blackpool, where […]
Read More… from Blackpool: The seaside hole of littered beaches and benefit bums
Blackpools a holdover from a different time. A time when every single one of us unlucky people were stuck on this awful island and flights to somewhere halfway decent was reserved to only the richest among us. Back then in these “days of yore” Blackpool was visited by all kinds of hard-working British families for […]
Read More… from Blackpool: The Seaside Town They Forgot To Close Down
After arriving in Chorley in 1980 my life became a depressed mountain of misery and boredom. The once thriving nightlife now reduced to a few stinking scabby pubs and some stupid so called micro bars that sell ridiculously overpriced cat piss. If your unlucky enough to find one of the festering dives that have live […]
Read More… from Chorley the **** crack of Satan’s drug dealer
Six miles outside of Latham is the diseased heart of darkness that is Mawdesley. It’s like Latham only with that sense of despair, alienation, sensory deprivation, incest and morbid depression cranked up to 11. Just like Latham incest and genetically inherited disorders are seen as a badge of pride and something “cool”. Things like a […]
Read More… from The diseased heart of darkness that is Mawdesley
What can I say about the town I live in except dear oh dear me. 20 years ago at least Blackburn had a town centre and a nightlife to escape to from the grotty streets and weed smoking smackheads who have never done a days graft in their life…take note Shadsworth and Highercroft wannabe hard […]
