As mentioned in the Ipswich description, Felixstowe is well and truly a **** Town candidate. I live there. Opposite a phone box. With hilarious regularity the phone box windows are smashed in and the phone ripped from its usual resting place. Cars arent safe on the side of the road – cos guess what late […]
Category: United Kingdom
The worst places to live in Britain
Oh No, Uttoxeter again.
It’s TRUE! I admit that once in a while I have to visit this sad,**** ridden **** hole.I also admit to popping into a chavity shop!I found a pair of Burberry shorts,I fair near chucked my ring up! Peering out of the window I spied 5 other pairs containing chinking,doped up,brainless,pissed up,inter-bred space wasters. the […]
Darlington
Oh, how nice Darlington used to be. The Goths and Moshers used to have a quiet life. Now “Darlo” is probably one of the biggest ****-holes in the North East. High Row, Greg’s, Queen’s Street and “The Graveyard” are a few of the **** hotspots in the town centre, but to be honest, the buggers […]
Bodmin – Home of the Cornish ****
When you think of Cornwall, you think of lovely scenery, cream teas and perhaps a place to retire to. It was once such a place. Until the ***** appeared. Every evening a convoy of **** cars going around a loop of the town. Bright purple novas and lucid green escorts aplenty, with the garage supplying […]
Newquay
Just imagine you have a picturesque fishing village on top of a dramatic Cornish cliff. How do you oversee its development? Well if you are in Newquay you build loads of drab looking hotels and guest houses, fill the high st with loads of tacky arcades and cheap surf shops and generally make it mega […]
Workington, West Cumbria
Simply the most **** place i have ever been to. Firstly there are skip loads of young teenage mothers, aka Kappa ******** for their love of Kappa branded clothing. They are unable to afford such brands as burberry and there aren’t any shops in Workington that actually sell such designer names. Secondly their brandy swilling, […]
Ashford, Kent
Ashford town is an epicentre of **** activity. It is going to be near impossible for me to sum up the sheer ‘*********’ of this scab on the sweaty hairy back of Kent, but hey-i’ll give it a shot. I’ve lived in Ashford for all 23 years of my life and have been a first-hand […]
Telford Trash
Another mention, but when it comes to Telford, it sticks to your shoes like dogshit, and just as hard to get off. The smell lingers too. In my last Telford epic, I forgot to mention the ***** that actually work for a living, though of course they don’t pay rent,mortgage,council tax, and bills in general […]
Wimbledon
Wimbledon may be the home of such bastions of respectability as the All England tennis club and strawberries and cream, but the mushrooming population of chavsters bredding out of control all over saaaaaaaf london has infiltrated even this, the leafiest of London’s suburbs. Wimbledon Village, the old part of town with the boutique shops, tea […]
Immingham
Immingham…Gateway to the North Sea and home of the Pilgrim Fathers. A truly historic town, nestling amongst the Lincolnshire hills. I existed in Immingham for some 12 years, more by force than choice. My family were poor and down on their luck. They put people like us in Immingham. Growing up was interesting, education was […]
Burntwood
Feel free to play “Spot the ****” any evening congregating by the shops at Swan Island – no prizes, it’s too easy – there’s LOADS of them. They’re BORED, of course – so the best they can manage to do is hang around making the place look even more untidy, and anyone parking there to […]
Bedford
Bedford, a sleepy riverside town located about 60 miles north of **** Capital (London). Bedford can be considered (and is by those non ***** who have to live there) **** Central. Such great haunts are the Interchange car park, where the local army of Nova driving, White Lightning drinkin Spitter ***** can be found after […]
