I spent a great deal of my formative years walking feverishly around the narrow field-bordered streets of Shaw, and found it difficult to describe to friends who would visit just why the place was so awful. To the untrained eye the hamlet seems quaint and even welcoming – this is a false perception. When I […]
Category: Satire
Bedford: Things started to slide back in the 80s
How can I start, Bedford has changed in 40 years or so, Once upon a time it was the swankiest place in Bedfordshire. But no more. Bedford is now full of drug dealers, gangs and murders. Midland Road is the most dangerous place, especially at night and weekends. Queens Park doesn’t fair either, due to […]
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Codnor the land of the living dead
Codnor is a little village or as they now like to call it a “Towwen” best known throughout the world for its pet shop. When giving directions to someone for any reason the reply will be “oh yea that’s where the pet shop is”. Residents of Codnor naturally have a natural hate for the neighbouring […]
Kenilworth – A boring town full of old people
Kenilworth is a town in Warwickshire full of the white middle class variety of old people who shop at the local Waitrose. The average age is 52. Despite the existence of many primary schools and its large secondary school, children are only usually seen going to and leaving these schools. The odd young person can […]
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Ely: Sh*t of the Fens!
Ely – known as the ship of the Fens: a bleak desolate flat wasteland that was reclaimed from swamps. Ely rises above this primordial filth like a swollen haemorrhoid on the **** of East Anglia. The locals are a unique product of this marshy, flat purgatory having developed features to cope with it, like webbed […]
Sleaford: completely backwards and they like it that way!
Sleaford, populated by neanderthals with no desire to better themselves or open their minds and horizons. Indeed, where else has a populace whose ambitions are gaining a tractor license and incest? Narrow-minded, mentally-deficient and blinkered, the average resident of Sleaford (Excepting those who have arrived from elsewhere and have actually seen something of the rest […]
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Faversham, Kent, avoid this dump like the plague
Faversham kent, a seemingly quiet country town? Don’t be fooled, it does however, possess a community website frequented by gangs of old age moaners who take offence at the slightest disagreement with their cliquey rules. They are a pack of wolves feasting upon a piece of carrion. Several notorious housing estates dot the area like […]
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Hammersmith and Fulham one big awful hole
This is meant to be one of nicest, most expensive boroughs of London, but it seems if you’ve not been mugged, then you will get mugged by the local estate agent, as prices to buy or let are beyond beggars belief. This manor which includes the Shepherd’s Bush ghetto, is one mass polluted, overcrowded, dirty […]
Rothwell: God’s Idea of a Joke
Rothwell is the kind of cesspit that will welcome you with open arms and a big hug, only so that when they mug you, you can’t run away. Rothwell square is the well known mating grounds for the ne’er-do-wells yokels. The local scooter gangs, colloquially known as “The Dezbruvs”, congregate around Restaurants and jet about […]
Bury St Edmunds, situated between two of the worst towns in Suffolk
Bury St Edmunds a humble town of middle class citizens, low crime rate and mixed tenure; on the whole Bury is doing quite well from the outside seeming as it is situated between possibly two of the worst towns in suffolk, stowmarket and Newmarket. As a ‘buryite’ myself living in the suburbs I have seen […]
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Rushden aka Roughden
Well what to say about Rushden. 9,000 Acres of despair, this is a disturbed town and nothing has gotten better in the past years with numerous murders, attempted murders, violent attacks and half of luton using it as a place to sell drugs i can say that this town is a massive problem in Northamptonshire. […]
Wigton is a crummy little town
Wigton is a crummy little town that only ever consists of usage of drugs, alcohol and fights! You at Kirkland when you first come into wigton, it’s quite a quiet place to live due to it been full of the elderly. There’s only a few thugs living up there. Moving down is the high street […]