Ferryhill is a small, former pit village in South West Durham with a population of around ten thousand. A typical terraced house can be purchased for about the same price as the weekly shop in any town in the Home Counties. Unfortunately they’re still overpriced due to the high concentration of pond life who reside […]
Read More… from Ferryhill: the town’s female population are permanently pregnant
I have lived here for the past 17 years and have been witness to many unfortunate changes. Salisbury has always been renowned locally for being dodgy and generally **** but, in the last few years, things have really gotten worse. So much worse, in fact, that most people I know here avoid the town centre […]
Chichester is a city with delusions of grandeur. It wants to be Bath, Oxford or Winchester. It cannot hope to match the cultural significance of these, or the affluence of the towns and cities such as Petersfield, Haslemere and Guildford with their direct commuter routes to London. It has a large student population but cannot […]
Read More… from Chichester: The Hyacinth Bucket of the South
I’m from a bad estate in a big city and I thought I’d seen it all. Then, one day, I went to Portsmouth. OMFG. Never before in all my years, walking through a city centre in daylight, had I felt intimidated. (Let’s just repeat that fact; it was Saturday afternoon. It was NOT midnight. It […]
Someone once had a great idea that rather than solve the inner city lack of council housing by rejuvenating derelict pockets in London, because mainly they couldn’t be arsed and wanted to offload the old bigoted flat cap cockney, they decided to spill over the riffraff and insert them into the newly built concrete country […]
Ah, another beautiful day down in Weybridge is coming to a close. As I gaze upon the silhouettes of the sun kissed high street, I can’t help but wonder if its the ***** who have ruined this quaint commuter belt stop, or the upper middle class children who idolise them. You see, in order to […]
Read More… from Weybridge: a quaint commuter belt town, ruined!
When I left a Glasgow 12 years ago, for a fresh start in Plymouth I didn’t think you could get much worse.. Oh how wrong I was. On the edge of the “River Tamar” with Cornwall bordering, famous for pasties and being the only county where you someone can introduce you to their aunt, wife, […]
You may be thinking of coming to Clacton, think again, Clacton is absolute s***. It’s filled with horrible little kids who think they are the best, they break shop windows, start fights and cause havoc to everyone. I don’t know where their parents are but they must be somewhere. Don’t be tricked by the pier. […]
So, I live in Bexleyheath. Growing up it used to be an okay town, it wasn’t too bad and there wasn’t enormous amounts of crime (not from my memory at least). I am now 20, and this area has completely changed. It is the hive of all villainy in the galaxy. Yobs, gangsters, roadmen and […]
Ramsgate – a town that has so much to make it a great place to live. Beautiful beaches, pretty harbour, nice architecture. It also has a dirty town centre frequented by drunks at all times of day, lots of mobility scooters driven by lardy lumps sometimes driving one handed, holding a *** or a can […]
Ahhhh, Leicester, where does one begin? When taking a stroll through town, one cannot help but feel threatened by the sheer amount of what are commonly known as ‘Roadmen’. This is another word for ne’er-do-wells. Now, let it be known – When I say ne’er-do-wells, I do not refer to the poor, simply those who […]
Read More… from Leicester: feel threatened by the sheer amount of ‘Roadmen’
Welcome to Huddersfield, the traffic light centre of England, where there are more taxis per capita than any other town in the UK, all driven by people that drive to different set of rules on its crater-strewn roads. (I heard Kirklees was short-listed by NASA to test the Mars Rover). Back in time, prior to […]
