Towns don’t get much worse than Weymouth, at the wretched end of the UK. Assumed by many to be a beautiful part of Daarset (Dorset), it’s a white trash ghetto populated by single mothers. Judging by the ‘local beauties’, breeding from a very shallow gene pool has clearly been rife for some generations. Even the women have […]
Category: Satire
Caernarfon: buy a tent before renting a flat in this godforsaken place
I was amazed when I searched for this town not to find anything. Caernarfon is the lowest of the low when it comes to towns. My other posts include Bethesda and Bangor. I live in north Wales… and all these towns are in north Wales. Caernarfon beats them all. About ten minutes from Bangor there […]
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Diss, at least it sounds like a nice place
A historic market town situated on the Norfolk/Suffolk border and surrounded by rolling fields and picturesque villages, Diss does have the potential to be, or at least sound like a nice place. And as you enter the backward Norfolk metropolis for the first time you are none the wiser of the hidden crapfest that is […]
Tipton, a hive of villainy
Tipton is in the Black Country, part of the West Midlands. It used to be one of the most industrial and smoky towns in England but most of the factories have now been closed and knocked down. It’s made the air in Tipton less dirty but unemployment has gone up in the last 20 years. […]
Strabane: stunning views of shopping trolleys wedged in the river
Beware the Mourne Valley mishap of a town that is Strabane. Squeezed between the villages of Sion Mills and Ballymagorry soon to be amalgamated with euro-ville Lifford,(Lifford ironically houses Strabanes only cinema-yes it’s strabanes, apparently) the town of Strabane is a sure **** central. So you’re in Strabane, and looking for a good time. What […]
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Tavistock (leading the way in the fight)
I come from the sunny town of Tavistock (known as Tavi by the locals) in Devon having read lots of the posts on this site I have come to the conclusion that my hometown is truly unique, and I shall tell you why. A few years ago we had a lot of ner-do-wells come to […]
Wrexham: the utter embarrassment of Wales
Well well well, where can I start? Wrexham is the hole of North Wales, the ultimate ne’er-do-wel capital of Cymru (yes, worse than Cardiff!) and the failure of many attempts to be named a ‘city’. Our town boasts a unique accent. It is a common version of the Northern Welsh accent, exclusive to Wrexham. It […]
Kings Norton, Birmingham: I need to move
Kings Norton in brum is fast becoming the centre of the ne-er-do-well universe. Honest people are a minority here, criminality has breeched the generation gap i personally have two generations living (or squatting) next door and i know its only a matter of time before its three generations (eldest is 16 well past the normal […]
Hastings: Rundown arcades and deprivation
Let me take you on a guided tour of Hastings, we’ll start from the train station: Hastings station has recently been rebuilt from a shabby, run down, horror of a building. Into a super ‘high tech’ glass structure. Not certain why the building needs to be so huge. Alighting from the train one can see […]
Sidley: a dingleberry on Bexhill’s backside
Sidley is a dingleberry ******* off Bexhill’s backside. Just hop on the horrible bus from Eastbourne or Hastings and you’ll find yourself in Heaven. The lively town centre boasts a Co-op, two hairdressers, a Danny’s Discount Store, two pubs, a garage, and an off-licence. Oh, and a SureStart centre where inhabitants can learn how to […]
Wakefield: a cultural wilderness of apish men and women in white stilettos
Wakefield’s claim to fame is that it is the Rhubarb Capital Of The UK. Seriously. Local are also proud to announce that Wakefield boasts two Mc Donald’s (yes, DOUBLE the job opportunities for most of our school-leavers), a cathedral (that makes it a city, you see, and as good as Manchester or Liverpool or London, […]
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Leigh, can you say “hor reet” without laughing?
They are known as Scroats in Lancashire, and god is Leigh overrun with them! One can strip paint with the accents of the local Leigh *****. Anyone not able to say “hor reet ****” without laughing is branded a cockney, and beaten up. These beating are not too bad as the ***** are normally too […]
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